shmuck and glass: an experiment in procrastination...

2010-04-02T17:30:00.000-07:00

This week I turned my computer off for the first time in 2010.

this may have made me tear and definitely deserves an award

2010-03-30T11:27:00.001-07:00

Struggling with its immortality, a discarded plastic bag (voiced by Werner Herzog) ventures through the environmentally barren remains of America as it searches for its maker.

letter from my choir director

2010-03-23T18:47:00.000-07:00

Ladies,

Every Thursday after choir the men need to be motivated to return the tables to their original positions. As all of you know a man's memory is very short and selective. Men's intentions are good, but they are easily sidetracked and they need to be kept on point. God made women specifically for this purpose.

Now, if the women are still lingering in the soprano section after choir, the men become confused, disoriented and unsure of their surroundings and their default reaction is to run to their cars. We need the guidance of the ladies to help us find our way of this conundrum.

Ladies, here is how you can help.

As soon as choir is over, please pick up your chair and belongings and move to the middle of the room. That sudden equilibrium unbalance should strike the male "I need to fix it impulse" and thus the men begin setting up tables restoring balance and harmony to the room.

Thank you so much for your help and guidance with yet another man in your life.

2010-03-18T12:40:00.000-07:00

I just told my co-teacher that we will no longer be collaborating. I am shaking. But also elated.

bureaucracy

2010-03-17T10:18:00.001-07:00

So back in public school, the gatekeeper for ordering supplies was the office manager, the secretaries, the supply person, the program director, and the principal. It was nearly impossible to order anything. Scratch that -- It was impossible to order anything. There was no opportunity whatsoever to say, Hey, I need this for my classroom, is there any way to get it?"

Since Charter Schools have control of their own budget, things should be different, and for the most part they are, but I'm finding that our office manager has become a sort of gatekeeper for which supplies get bought and which do not. I completely understand the need to be economical and save money, but when it comes down to ordering the cheap pencils that break and the more expensive pencils that can be used for longer, it seems like the choice should be easy. At least to me, who actually has to deal with the fallback from having cheap pencils break every ten minutes and students sharpening endlessly. I tried to explain this to our office manager but got nowhere as she continued to insist that we are really tight on money right now.

But buying cheap pencils is like throwing away your money, I tried to explain, because most of the pencil gets sharpened away! Why not buy the pencils that can be used for longer? Office manager who uses pens and white-out claimed that the pencils work the same.

More frustration because the price difference is about TEN CENTS per hundred. Good pencils are definitely worth that extra.

UGH

four am

2010-03-16T06:29:00.000-07:00

Earthquake last night. Thank god I wasn't totally hallucinating. The first thing I did was put on pants. Then I went and checked the internet but couldn't find anything. Guess what, it's because I'm faster than the speed of information. I went back to sleep thinking that maybe I am crazy.

USGS reports that it was a 4.4.

NCLB lite

2010-03-15T22:26:00.001-07:00

Fantastic article from LA Times that says everything I wanted to say, only better:

Education is a slow, arduous process that requires the work of willing students, dedicated teachers and supportive families, as well as a coherent curriculum.

if you like educational policy...

2010-03-15T21:19:00.001-07:00

Hey Obama,

Want our educational system to be better than other countries? Go check out what they are doing. I am willing to bet my state-sponsored health insurance that not a single nation besides ours is using Open Court Reading. I would also wager that most foreign countries teach subjects besides reading and math, so that a student will have seen a world map before the sixth grade.

Behold: Your blueprint and my commentary.

We will set a clear goal: Every student should graduate from high school ready for college and a career, regardless of their income, race, ethnic or language background, or disability status.

I don't think anyone disagrees with this. Lofty goal, slightly unattainable, but that's what goals are for.

But actually, one more thing: Do all students have to graduate in the same time frame? Some kids, like recent immigrants or those with learning disabilities, need an extra year or two to catch up. In the current system they don't get that, and are swept along to later fail or drop out. Getting rid of social promotion would help. Getting more money for summer school and intervention programs would help even more.

Following the lead of the nation’s governors, we’re calling on all states to develop and adopt standards in English language arts and mathematics that build toward college- and career-readiness by the time students graduate from high school.

While we're at it, let's make sure our standards for history, science, geography, technology, music, theater, and physical ed are also top notch. Part of our educational stalemate stems from an absence of relevant content.

We will support the development and use of a new generation of assessments that are aligned with college- and career-ready standards, to better determine whether students have acquired the skills they need for success.

If a student DOESN'T have the skills they need for success, are you going to allow them to fail? Do they get a redo? Because I have taught several children who were clearly not ready to advance but were denied the opportunity to relearn the skills they missed. It is virtually impossible to retain ("flunk") a kid these days. Those are the students that are going to get to high school and be so behind and so overwhelmed that they drop out, which will ruin our aforementioned graduation goal.

This here is a huge part of the problem with NCLB. Testing gives you data, but it does not solve any problems. Teachers themselves can probably give more reliable predictions about students' future academic successes. We don't really need more fancy tests.

Students need a well-rounded education to contribute as citizens in our democracy and to thrive in a global economy – from literacy to mathematics, science, and technology to history, civics, foreign languages, the arts, financial literacy, and other subjects...

Finally.

...We will support states, districts, school leaders, and teachers in implementing a more complete education through improved professional development and evidence-based instructional models and supports.

Oops, lost me at "evidence-based instructional models." Do you know how hard it is to design a lesson plan that will be successful with every single classroom in the country? That's basically what they are asking. "Evidence-based" means they tested the shit out and students scored higher than when they tested the other stuff out. Students are human, though, so scientifically-testing instructional models is hardly reliable and usually impossible. (How do you gather reliable evidence of thoughtfulness?)

Effective teachers and principals.

This section goes on and on about how we need better teachers but what they don't say is how they are going to measure "effectiveness." It damn sure needs to be something other than test scores. What if Consumer Reports rated stereos solely on how loud they go?

Greater equity. To give every student a fair chance to succeed, and give principals and teachers the resources to support student success, we will call on school districts and states to take steps to ensure equity, by such means as moving toward comparability in resources between high- and low-poverty schools.

I do like this and am curious how the administration proposes to close the resource gap. One suggestions is let schools control their own budget. My old school, for example, really didn't need to spend all that money on a literacy coach who sat around and fussed with test data. We would have been better off with some teacher aids.

Fostering a Race to the Top.

Just because you raise the speed limit does not mean your cars are going to be safer.

Investing in Innovation Fund will support local and nonprofit leaders as they develop and scale up programs that have demonstrated success, and discover the next generation of innovative solutions.

Again, I have a problem with how they define "success." Some programs are successful because they keep kids out of gangs. Some programs are successful because kids grow up happy and enjoy learning. Their test scores might not be high, though, and with current legislation, they are labeled a failure.

You know what this blueprint forgot to mention? Teachers deserve greater respect and more pay. It's not us who's broken; it's the system.

texts! twenty-ten edition!

2010-03-14T14:03:00.000-07:00

Just saw a guy with a ponytail mullet but no ponytail holder.

Discovered a really boring cheese today. Cotswald double glouster. Don't bother.

My go-to question is zombies or unicorns.
Truly does hit at the heart of a person's character.

Remember the Yearners of Zion? National Geographic has a hole spread this month so we can finally learn how to do our hair.

Nice! Has the group grown, or do they keep leaving to be part of our world?

These commercials are great. On, and the few scenes of Lost in between are ok too.

Slept over at W's last night no fooling around whatsoever but he was wearing those silly gay underwear again only this time in red.

These Nerds are too good. It is hard to stop. You will have to pry them from my cold, diabetic hands.

You missed a touching bio of the skater who grew up homeless and then was adopted and then discovered. He would be a visa commercial but he's french.

I think I'm on Team Asian Richard.

Drink every time they mention lindsey jacobellis disappointment. Double if they use the word redemption.
Sorry. Couldn't read that. The alcohol has already clouded my vision.

I really like the look. I was confused at first about who he was. I thought he was david and i wondered why he looked so chipper.

Curling is so intense...

To his credit he did not try to mash any boner into my backside.

Everyone love a giant inflatable beaver.

Crap, now I don't like his eyebrows.

They're killing their resident by leaving him in there this late. That's all three!

Now I hate how he walks.

final Olympic coverage

2010-02-28T20:52:00.000-08:00

First of all, I totally want the closing ceremony Ralph Lauren outfit.
Second of all, Shani Davis is FINE.
Third, LONDON 2012 !!!!

On a side note, Americans are so freaking self-indulged. That practically every athlete is holding out their iphone or flip-phone or camcorder to record their every step is a bit sick. I'm glad Evan Lysacek is using his own eyes and experiencing for himself.

soprano for keeps

2010-02-25T22:31:00.000-08:00

Whoa, after all that singing, when I'm warmed up, I can hit a high G. And it sounds good!

VANCOUVER2010 !!!!!

2010-02-16T21:53:00.000-08:00

If you are looking for an introduction to popular classical music, just watch a bunch of figure skating programs.

thank god he's back

2010-02-14T19:29:00.000-08:00

Johnny Weir, you're number one in my queue.

live blog of report card weekend

2010-02-07T23:05:00.000-08:00

I sat down on the couch to write these effing report cards, which may have been due on Friday, but my knitting project was much too inviting to pass up. Pea green scarf, finished at last. It only took thirteen months.

. . .

I like to start with the high achievers, because then I can copy and paste. Parents don't really need specifics when their kid is smart.

. . .

Drinking, watching Troy, and writing report cards. Brilliant combination? Or recipe for disaster? I'll find out on Tuesday, when we get the first draft. Let's hope I remember to finish.

. . .

Ooh, new Sarah Palin disasters afloat! And she sorta kinda maybe really just admitted to potentially running for president in 2012. Let's all hope that Email Gate and Property-Tax Gate blow up real big before then.

. . .

I've moved on to 300. It's Greek movie night. My last ten report cards are really pushing the creative boundaries of how to respectfully convey to parents that their child cannot read, or is a total dickhead.

. . .

Good lord, I need to quit. Five more till I'm done, but they will have to wait until tomorrow. My head is a swimming mess of Baileys and gladiator sandals. I cannot think of anything nice to say about Veronica, other than I like her new haircut. This won't do.

rainy Friday

2010-02-06T17:50:00.000-08:00

Last night I had dinner with W and then a sleepover and it was the nicest non-date I think I've ever had. First of all, his new apartment is way up in Topanga Canyon, so it was all peaceful and isolated and tree-house like, and the rain was pattering on the windows. The view from his living room is awesome because you can see across the whole canyon and it's all green and alive right now.

We had a Japanese dinner planned and my contribution of sushi was awesome even though I couldn't find sticky rice and used risotto instead. I just made avocado rolls but there is nothing so delicious as that mix of creamy avo and salty soy sauce and tangy ginger and warm rice. Yum.

W made a tofu salad that was the worst recipe he has ever not followed. The directions actually called for carrots and snow peas to be "chopped up into matchsticks," which I dutifully did. It was quite labor intensive and I complained appropriately. One of the final steps of the recipe was to put the chopped up carrots into the blender, thus rendering the matchsticking a complete waste of time. It was supposed to be a pate but owing to the fact that W didn't read the directions ahead of time and doesn't own a blender, it came out like chopped up tofu with some tiny pieces of carrot. No seasoning.

The other failed dish was some fancy potato and tamari thing that ended up just being mashed potatoes. It was decent.

So there was good sushi and mashed potatoes and a bowl full of broken tofu. We laaafffed about the awfulness because Wade is actually a good cook. We had mochi for dessert which made up for everything.

Then we watched the new LOST episode (me for the second time) and fell asleep and I am proud to report that I kept my pants and my sweatshirt on the entire time and no tomfoolery was had.

We are both good sleepers and spooned the whole night and I only woke up once to have my daily six am allergy attack and immediately fell back asleep and then got up at about ten thirty. The rain had stopped and it was sunny and misty all at the same time. Part of the boulevard was closed due to rocksliding in the night so I had to take the valley way out. It was beautiful.

flashback city

2010-02-01T21:43:00.000-08:00

First, I had Friday night dinner and Celebrity party at Lynn's house with her friend Jones, and we figured out that he came and subbed for yoga at my school several months ago. He was memorable because the kids had been total shits up until then, and the two days that he came in he was whipping them into shape, and we were all wishing he could stay forever. Apparently he passed up the permanent job so the current teacher could take it. They are friends.

(Coincidentally, Jones is also the one who did the robot / puppet / vampire dance bit to Don't Stop Believing at Lynn and Stephen's anniversary LUV salon. I reenacted this skit to teach my students about theme. That was in November, a few weeks before the yoga switcheroo. It was during the reenactment that we discovered that Stephen (above) teaches karate to my favorite student Jordan.)

Then there was the DOTs thing.

Most recently (tonight), I was having dinner with Emily Shmemily and her fiance Michael, and we realized that he was my neighbor in college. Not like stranger neighbors who happened to live on the same street, but like neighbors whose roommates were best friends and who had been been in each other's apartment. Our windows were facing each other fifty feet apart. After having the whole conversation I can vaguely picture him on the stairs. No less embarrassing is that neither of us recognize the other. We've been hanging out since August.

It's Johnny Cammareri...!

2010-01-31T01:26:00.000-08:00

Moonstruck might be my new favorite movie of all time.

she smite him, dead he lay, she hit him with a tent pin and he fell down dead

2010-01-30T23:48:00.000-08:00

This morning I went to shul randomly because I happened to wake up early and I happened to have a conversation last night about meeting Jewish guys at shul and I happened to be feeling guilty about not doing anything religious in a long while. When I got there I was not really feeling it and being uncomfortable because I recognized a lot of the faces in there but didn't really know anyone. Like, I think a handful of people had been at our parties on Reeves.

So then the torah reading finishes and Hillel, my old bat mitzvah tutor, who also happens to be a leader/cantor there, he turns to me and asks if I want to do the haftarah. Totally weird, I make a face and say no. Because that's not the kind of thing you do on the fly. But then he tells me that it's Beshalach, my portion, and do I remember what a long freaking haftarah I had. Yes, I remember the pages and pages. No, I'm not going to sing it. But awesome coincidence! Bizarre that today of all days I felt compelled to go to shul. And at Ikar, of all places, where my teacher actually remembered that that was me.

ego boost!

2010-01-30T23:34:00.000-08:00

I went to an a capella show at UCLA with Rebecca tonight and we ran into the DOTs!!! I was sitting and listening to my neighbor chat about the workshops she went to that day, and started talking to her about singing. She asked which group I was in, and I told her I graduated but used to be in UCSD DOTs. She was like, WHAT THAT IS MY GROUP and I very proudly mumbled that I started it. Screaming ensued. She showed me her DOTs tshirt, and dragged me over to meet the rest of the girls. They were all super excited to meet me and I was super surprised that they knew who I was. (Even though my name and bio is still on their website. And I arranged several of the songs on their CD.)

After the show we said hi again and there was some mild hysteria. We took a picture together and they all told me how DOTs has changed their lives. I believe it. The pictures online make the group look like an awesome thing to be a part of, and I don't doubt that they have a lot of fun being silly and being girly. They had eighty girls try out last quarter. EIGHTY. That's a long way from 2001 when the five of us would meet in my dorm room and I would hum out parts and we had maybe three applicants when we did auditions.

They are performing at ICCA in two weeks and I'm so excited. That is big time. They are super happy and I am super happy and we had a love fest there in the ballroom of Ackerman Union. I am so proud to have started this group that has grown into something special.

persuasive essay

2010-01-24T17:35:00.000-08:00

I'm really excited to grade this assignment.

lesson delivery methods

2010-01-23T09:46:00.000-08:00

I wish someone had given me this list when I first started teaching.

LECTURE (Teacher talks, students listen.)
JIGSAW (Each student group learns a small portion of the lesson, and teaches it back to the rest of the class. Have them make posters, say, as a visual aid.)
INDEPENDENT STUDY (Students read text and take notes on their own.)
DRAWING (Students draw the subject they are studying, including details and labels. This works the best with maps.)
WORKSHEET
QUESTIONS FROM THE BOOK
DISCUSSION (Teacher asks questions, students answer them and each other.)
OPEN NOTE QUIZ (Puts the fear of God into them, but students end up really searching for the right information.)
DRAMATIZATION (Assign parts and act out the scene/concept.)
COMIC STRIP (Like a flow chart, but sounds more fun.)
WEB (Students brainstorm and write down everything they know about a subject, making visible connections.)
DICTATION (Teacher talks, students write it all down.)
MOVIE (Discovery Streaming)
MAKE A LIST AND PUT IT IN ORDER (Like making a hierarchy.)
VENN DIAGRAM TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT OBJECT/IDEA (Forces higher level thinking on Bloom's taxonomy.)
CORNELL NOTES (Similar to lecturing and taking notes, but the teacher models what the students should write down.)
PICTORIAL INPUT (Teacher lectures while drawing a related picture. Students are captivated.)
PROJECTS (Students create a project and learn while doing.)
READ ALOUD (If you can find a related book.)
POWER POINT

2010-01-22T19:30:00.000-08:00

I would like to do relief work in Haiti this summer.

In a tent, not a building.

Before hurricane season.

sara watkins

2010-01-21T23:15:00.001-08:00

Whoa, that was the best show ever. Sara Watkins on violin and vocals, brother Sean on guitar and vocals, upright piano with the front board taken out so you can see the hammers, acoustic base, drums, metal hammer washboard thingy, Ben Lee, John C O'Reilly who sang and played his thunderdrum, and Gillian Welch with David Rawlings at the end. At Largo you get to sit down, too, and the room doesn't smell like alcohol or hipsters.

meshuga

2010-01-19T18:59:00.000-08:00

Hm, weird. I just had a telemarketer call me up and we had a whole conversation in Hebrew. He was trying to sell me an Israeli cable channel. He sounded surprised that I could speak and understand Hebrew. He didn't really try to push the sale like most American callers. I have no idea where he got his special Jewish phone list.

about me

2010-01-18T23:48:00.000-08:00

I definitely have some bitch teacher going on which can be real fun (for me). I would say that the kids like me and some of the boys def have that student-teacher crush going on. I've earned extra points because I love Twilight and youtube and will generally eat any junk food that they give me.

Here are some things I look for in a leading man:

Like yourself. Like your life.
Be interested in stuff. Like, all different kinds of stuff. Electronics, sports, cloud patterns, history of salt, whatever. If you don't think other things are interesting, you are probably boring.
That you know about Twilight is a plus. Knowing pop culture and/or the news is important.
Make me laugh and/or get my humor. I like sarcastic and weird. This one is the easiest and the hardest because it takes a while to "get" a person and it takes a while to develop inside jokes. On the other hand, someone can be funny without really knowing them but then after a while it gets boring because it doesn't go any deeper.
Bonus if you went to Jew camp and we can trade stories.

too late to think about dating

2010-01-18T23:37:00.001-08:00

A quick, QUICK list of things I liked about the last guy before he hooked up with me three times and then emailed that he wasn't feeling the chemistry:

He read Twilight. and New Moon. and Eclipse.
The youtube of him dressed up as his friend's dad dancing with another guy dressed up as his friend's mom. With a shirt labeled, "Love 2 Fuck."
He ate ketchup on his pasta.

first of four

2010-01-18T12:56:00.001-08:00

It is raining super hard and loud right now. I have opened all of my curtains so that I can hear the tapping and see the drops more clearly. I am thinking frantically of other ways I can take advantage of this situation.

the year 2009

2010-01-17T22:36:00.001-08:00

Road trip! New Years Eve in Arizona with a bottle of Martinellis and going to bed at 10
bladder infection
Palm Springs with Ro
girls night at Village Idiot with Lena and Sasha
Obama inauguration! Party at school
LAACC concert at Temple Isaiah
Glenda engagement party and I am scared of my bf's ex
Grammy foundation concert with Sara Bareillis
art show with Lena
New York - see Anna, Abbey, Naomi, Alter Boys, buy beads
Sacramento and San Francisco with Tova, Nick, and Aaron
re-meet Wade
new dentist and cavities and teeth guards
Griffith park big ass hike with Claustro
crazy concert with Wade
Lost marathon with Wade
Karen huge dinner party and meet Emily
Habitat for Humanity painting a house
heart monitor
Ro is a shithead
Jayita's with Liz and Dale and Indian food
Culver City art walk with Benja
Wade, Wade, Wade, then not Wade
One World, Many Voices LAACC concert
improv with Rebecca choir
Temescal with Claustro
junk food with Haley and dye my hair RED
AUSTRALIA
Glenda wedding
volunteering at Cedars
Idan Reichel at the pier
Karen engagement party in Encino
tie-dye clothes with Aaron
swimming at Benja's new place with cousins
German boys come to LA! We eat Mexican and drink and I discover they all have girlfriends
hike with Liz
Shabbat dinners with Emily Shmemily
Mad Men with Wade
more dentistry work
more doing nothing with Hayley and the boys
LAACC bonding party with Rebecca and Andrew and Christy
Lynn wedding salon and Thong Song mashup with Andrew
shabbat dinner with Nicole
Halloween with Rebecca and Andrew and Lynn and I carve my first pumpkin
teach mother about evolution dinner
wine tasting with school
boring date with Ian at Griffith park
Thanksgiving at Benja's apt
holiday concert with LAACC
Tour of Hope bus captain with Rebecca
make holiday cookies with Wade
game night at Rich Kennedy's and being awesome at celebrity
New Moon with Emily
LAACC at Dorothy Chandler with Fred Willard
finish Australia and Peru albums
Nicole wedding
New Years Eve date at Ballona Creek with Jeff

best email of the year

2010-01-17T22:32:00.000-08:00

The prize goes to new friend Emily Shmemily:

Holy big fucking ass dick. Seriously, I can't believe this. It is funny what a big dumb jerk he is. At least you don't have to miss him AT ALL!

texts number five

2010-01-17T22:02:00.000-08:00

You knew he would! What an exciting sexy time for you both.

What. the. f. is a slanket? a slinky blanket?

Hows it by you? Too many israelis by us.

Was he cute? Was he Jewish? Last night I had a dream about kichel.

Well right now I'm listening to la di da di we like to party by slick rick and doug e fresh from 1985. But after that I'm free!

I thought silver fox came in shirtless.

Saw the ramachandrin box. In AZ. The couple next door is having rough boring sex. How are you?

Happy Hannukah!
Thanks! I'm at a church about to sing more x mas songs. Ironical.
Ironikkah.

After going to several stores and calling twenty of them, guess where i finally found citric acid...glatt mart.

Hang on I'm in the middle. I had to take a shower first, wash the dog off.
That sounds like slang for cleaning your private area.

Little indecent incident with the main... Thought you would laugh.

Let me revisit my journal entry for that date to learn why

Just made some pasta with ketchup and parmesan cheese. Told my girlfriend that if one bowl of food were to ever sum up my childhood it'd be that. She took one look at it and said 'don't eat that next to me.'

Woah. Just discovered sephorah. Holy shit.

The other thing that was supposed to change the world but didn't was olestra. Instead it caused anal leakage.

I just got a phone call to "Rent a Man."

Stewie got stuck with a ball gag on Family Guy this week. Thought of you.

Having a congressional race on my birthday really made my day.

Did you see that they listed me as School Programs chair on the yellow newsletter? Who knew. I didn't.

Of course I didn't respond b/c I am doing really important things like watching youtube.

eh

2010-01-15T22:20:00.000-08:00

I was directed to this ~~awesome~~ book review website but after paging through six months of reviews and only recognizing one book mentioned, I'm done before I started. The one, by the way, is Infinite Jest, which was oh so hot last summer but I just can't bring myself to care. Too many words.

BUT WAIT !

Redemption!?

Way back last April someone reviewed The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, one of the top three (adult) books I've ever read. I had borrowed it from Karen and was so sad to have to return it when I was done. I was hooked from the very first paragraph and couldn't stop talking about how much I loved it. The writing, the story, the image of that little dilapidated coal town in the Appalachians . . . the train track house in Arizona . . . mortification at seeing mom dumpster diving. That I even remember the narrator is female indicates quality. Every time I went to the RIP dollar bookstore to pick up lit circle sets I would spend time searching through that disorganized mess to find my own copy. Trying to be green, you know. This winter break I cut the crap and just bought my own copy.

Which is to say that this book is seriously hearted by me and the single paragraph "review" on this stupid site is fucking lame.

psyching up for returning to school

2010-01-10T22:37:00.000-08:00

I think I have to give myself more credit because the truth is that I sat down and graded THIRTY papers today. When was the last time I did that. (never.) Even though there are twenty more and I want to peel my skin before reading through them -- I saved the really terrible ones for last -- I still did the majority of them, enough to just go ahead and do the rest of them already instead of throwing them away, which is what I do with many assignments I just can't bring myself to comb through. Does that sound terrible? Your teachers used to do it, too.

Also: I read four books over break. Technically four and a half, but I'm still in the middle of the last one. Even though none of them were the ones I planned on reading for the kids, EFF THE KIDS. Officially I don't even need to read any of the books they read in lit circles, it's just good practice. Plus I'm an adult and have earned the right to thumb my nose at science fiction.

So really what we're saying is that the only thing I've slacked on is the entering of student updates in our joint update database, but since NO ONE ELSE DID, by comparison I didn't really slack at all. Just following the herd.

dear boys

2010-01-10T22:08:00.001-08:00

Dear boys,

If you are not sure you like a girl, and are even more not sure whether you have any chemistry at all, do not spend the night making out with her. Definitely don't sleep with her, especially if you are planning on writing a break-up email the next day.

go see this documentary right now

2010-01-09T11:43:00.000-08:00

Nine minutes into Food Inc and I'm already disgusted.

Minute fifteen and I am utterly horrified.

The third time my jaw dropped:

Vegie Libel Laws made me exclaim out loud. How is this shit real. Seriously.

2010-01-08T03:31:00.000-08:00

Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and think, MAN, I have the best hair ever!?

the wisdom of the ages

2009-12-25T11:58:00.000-08:00

I'm not saying she was very silly, but one of us was very silly, and it wasn't me.

I'm sorry I said anything about it now. I'll try and find a more agreeable piece of news . . . Old Marjory at the lodge is dead!

from Wives and Daughters

Looking for Alaska

2009-12-19T21:38:00.000-08:00

I just read the first half of Looking for Alaska in one sitting. I guess yeah, if you like someone's blog*, you'll probably like their novels. Also, books that get awards tend to be good. I am riveted. (Although slightly disappointed that I cannot recommend this book to any of my pre-teen students. They are a little too young.)

*In the past four weeks, I have read every single post in his archives. His writing significantly improves over time.

2009-12-19T15:10:00.000-08:00

Six hours into winter break and I'm already bored...

how to teach reading

2009-12-13T13:21:00.000-08:00

So reader K has asked me how I get kids to like reading books. Cue insightful and inspirational post which I will slave over and endlessly edit and then reread months later and wonder what I was thinking. Regardless, here is a description of what I do*. No guarantees that it will have the same effect on your students.

READ COOL BOOKS. No kid is going to get excited about reading a two hundred pager unless it contains murder or invisibility. Pick ones that are awesome. If they have magic, mysteries, gangs, secret crushes, survival, or witches, they will probably be popular. Here are some books that my sixth grade students have loved: The Westing Game (murder! mystery!), The Supernaturalist (gangs and parasites), The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle (pirates, or men who are like pirates), Sea of Trolls (bizarre creatures), A Wrinkle in Time (time travel), The Witches (witches, obviously), The Book Thief (holocaust setting, narrated by Death), The Cay (survival on an island), Hatchet (survival in a forest), The Giver (alternate reality), Gathering Blue (another alternate reality), The Lightening Thief (Harry Potter-esque only with Greek gods), Despereaux (a fairy tale mouse desperately in love with a human princess), The Watsons Go to Birmingham (delinquent older brother), Bud Not Buddy (looking for his real parents, peeing his pants scene), Tangerine (soccer and blindness), and Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. There are, of course, many more newer and equally awesome books, but this is a starter list of guaranteed coolness. (I would give hesitant readers the easier and juicy of the books. Let them have a positive experience before challenging them.)

The same criteria applies to short stories. Kids like gross and/or twisted stories. Roald Dahl's "Lamb to the Slaughter" was a huge hit this year. "All Summer in a Day" and "A Rose for Emily" are perennial favorites. Junior Great Books have brilliant, controversial stories. (One reason kids love Greek myths is because of the sleeping around. Students are secretly overjoyed that they get to talk about adultery in school.)

TALK ABOUT THE BOOKS. This is probably the most important thing to do when teaching reading. We use a Literature Circle model in order to give the kids structure. This way they are talking about their book in the safety of a small peer group. Often, I make them share out in front of the whole class. Don't just recall facts; you should argue opinions, favorite characters, themes, funny bits, comparisons to real life, etc. Regardless of your methods, it is important that students talk about books every day. When they have regular opportunities to share about their reading, they realize that their experience reading books is just as important as those other things you do every day, like, say, review math facts. Also, other students will hear stuff about books and they will want to read! Because everyone is talking about it! (Allow them to dislike books, too.)

PLAY DEVILS ADVOCATE. To get them to open up or defend their opinions, I make provocative claims, like, "I think Mary had been planning to kill her husband for a few days." Or, "Maybe the Tucks should pour the water into Winnie's mouth when she is sleeping." Then the kids are forced to argue such ludicrous ideas.

PROJECTS. We let our students do some sort of project about their book when they are done reading. Sometimes they get to choose, sometimes we get to choose. Students usually get a week to work on their projects, and then we dedicate a week to presentations. The presentations are important because kids get practice in public speaking. They also create another space to talk about books. I give the presenters ample Q&A time from the rest of the class. The students often grill each other harder than I do, especially if they read that particular book and want to "test" the other kids. Here are some of our projects: Create a puppet show, act out a commercial for the book, write a newspaper article about the story, dramatic reading, dramatization, yearbook of characters, comic book retelling, to-do lists from the point of view of the characters, write a letter to the author, series of illustrations, create a "map" of the book, talk show with the characters, research project (if historical fiction), write a book review, powerpoint review, create a study guide for the book . . .

We start with everyone reading the same book, then begin with reading circles of two - five kids reading the same assigned book. This is the training period. When they are ready, we let each group pick their own book. At some point, we let kids pick their own, independent book. They are super excited by then to finally "get" the book they've been hearing about for weeks but haven't been assigned. Even when they are reading their own book, though, I make sure to give them opportunities to share with the class.

I skip stories or books which bore me. I'd rather save my efforts for literature that I love. (I do let kids read stuff I don't like, I just don't do whole class discussions around it.)

*Thanks to all the good teachers and students and parents and peers who have taught me how to become a better teacher over these years.

2009-12-09T21:46:00.000-08:00

⌘shift4 is my newest favorite thing.

green is the new lazy

2009-12-09T19:05:00.000-08:00

I am proud to report that this month, after living in my apartment for almost two and a half years, I finished my first package of paper towels. (Package = six rolls, which works out to about one roll every five months.) I try to use washcloths to clean and dishtowels to wipe my hands whenever possible. This makes me feel better about creating less waste, plus I got to buy all these colorful kitchen linens.

The paper towels probably would have lasted even longer, except a certain man I used to see would use one to clean his face every time he came over. Which is really weird, when I think about it. Before it used to bug me that he would leave this crumpled up wad on my counter, but now I realize that was the least of his flaws.

Also: I have not taken any plastic shopping bags since Rosh Hashana. I either stash stuff in my purse or bring reusable bags. Once I stopped at Trader Joes unprepared and to honor my pledge, I just bought a new reusable one. (It had pirates on it, so it was a win-win.) When I bought a (fantastic) coat on the fly, I just draped it over my arm and walked it to my car. Imagine! Expending energy!

this is how you learn

2009-12-08T21:49:00.000-08:00

I've been obsessed with this author/blogger/videoblogger/nerdfighter guy John Green for a few weeks now. I've been reading his blog archives and keep coming finding great stuff like this:

I find it very strange that we acknowledge children’s ability to grapple with endlessly complex plot—that we don’t for one second question whether a novel is age-appropriate when it contains 430 characters with unpronounceable names, each caring for their own particular subspecies of dragon.

I can't decide whether I'm more excited that I totally agree with him or more excited that I get his kiddie-lit references.

I started teaching literature last year and it's been so interesting to watch kids grow as readers. Most of our students have been fed Open Court since kindergarten and it shows. Many of them have never read a book in school before. It is clear that a few have never even read a book on their own, ever. By the time the fourth lit circle cycle rolls around, and I FINALLY allow them to pick their own books, they cheer and gasp and smile like I handed them a new gaming system.

By the end of October, we have covered "theme," and this is where the children really start to shine. I never knew what the theme* of a book was. I think my eighth grade teacher probably touched upon theme but I was too busy rolling my eyes because she made me EXPLAIN Holden Caufield. The nerve.**

Watching students interact with literature makes me proud to be a reader. I have had students stand up in front of the whole class to argue that Jesse Tuck was selfish, or that Charlotte Doyle was heroic, or to explain that Despereaux really just wanted to be noticed. One student is in the process of explaining twelve reasons why Crispin is the most boring book ever. Another student begged her mom to buy her her own copy of Wolf Brother so that she could read it again later.

I've had students rush in in the morning to tell me how they cried all over the ending of The Book Thief or that they stayed up until three am because Scorpion King was so good. Today we began writing book reviews and one kid came in with EIGHT PAGES already typed up. Just this last week, one boy spent four days in a row sitting on the floor of my class reading The Supernaturalist. For the entire period. (I exempted him from all other work because isn't that the point?)

The moral of the story is that books rock.

*It's the lesson the main character learns, or the moral, or the message the author is trying to teach the reader.

**I could not, COULD NOT, understand why a teacher would force us to reveal our FEELINGS about books. Like, way too personal. Also, symbolism? I really did not want to consider that Salinger invented the red hunting cap as a literary device.

judge a book by its cover

2009-12-08T16:49:00.000-08:00

Well, this is just my life here.

I ditched the Bantam edition of “Huck Finn” and when I returned home fished out a second copy I owned. But the experience was exactly the same. The cover of the Signet Classic was a drawing of a ruddy-cheeked scamp, buck teeth prominent, clutching an apple, with a perky little newsboy tam cocked at a saucy Depression-era angle. Here Huck bore an alarming similarity to both Jerry Mathers of “Leave It to Beaver” and Britney Spears. Revolting. So once again my efforts to polish off this peerless classic were stymied. I could never get more than a few pages into the book before the illustration on the cover made me sick.

I had this same edition of Huck Finn and always thought that it was a fifties-ish era treatise on How Young Boys Should Behave. Of course then I was assigned to read it in high school and loved it.

It all added up. Until now, I’d thought that I had set these books aside for so many years because they were too daunting or, in the case of Thomas Mann, too dull. Now I realized that what these books had in common was that they were ugly. Really, really ugly.

A 1997 edition of “The Bad Seed” comes adorned with a photograph of a macabre doll that bears an odd resemblance to a girl I sat next to in fifth grade. A girl who creeped me out.

(From nytimes)

My favorite book from adolescence, The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle, features a hideous glamor painting of Charlotte leaning against the deck rails of a ship, her face full of longing and what looks like lust. It quite resembles a Harlequin romance novel. The truth is that there is no romance whatsoever in this book, not even a love interest. (Charlotte Doyle is a tale of revenge and murder on the high seas.) I introduce this book to my class by declaring the cover art horrible and then proceed to read the first sentence, which is a MUCH better introduction. ("Not every thirteen year old girl is accused of murder, brought to trial, and found guilty.")

Being an English teacher, I convince my students to read a book for two nights until they pass judgment, but I must confess that I, too, stop at the cover.

whiz! bang! plop!

2009-11-30T17:16:00.000-08:00

Great article about Roald Dahl in Slate today. Have I told you how much I love his books? I force them on my students every year and not one child has ever been displeased.
Read it here.

here is someone

2009-11-21T22:02:00.000-08:00

More bits of wisdom from meaghano, my new favorite person:

Maybe a good way to know if you love a man is to try to imagine living on a farm and having babies with him

Do you die of laughter?

Rethink.

My aunt came in from Alaska, with tales of “predatory lesbians,” and hitting a moose with he family van (it died because it was 30 below and the blood froze him to the ground).

I love how in airplane bathrooms you can see exactly how much you pee.

unrequited crush

2009-11-21T21:55:00.000-08:00

So I was ass over elbows for this kid for pretty much the rest of my adolescence, and eventually we became friends because I sort of leveled up in ~~popularity~~ self-esteem after quitting Girl Scouts and refusing to wear glasses and reading all of my mom’s Anatomy books so that I told everyone I knew everything I knew about fuckin and then got kicked out of the gifted program because I had a mouth like a sailor and was generally too much of a badass.

My heart just melted. This girl is SOMETHING. Go read the rest.

at least the class average was ninety percent

2009-11-19T22:50:00.000-08:00

Test question: Why is it important to know homophones?

It is important to homophones because you want to wich is wich.

It is important to know because when you write one homophone but how do you the difference in those three or two.

So that you don't get confused and right the wrong thing in a sentence.

Personally I think its important because your sentences and grammars wouldn't make sense.

how do you respect this????

2009-11-17T21:17:00.000-08:00

Today, Blackberry coworker came to me about our lunch supervision arrangements. I answered her question. She wondered some more. I answered again. Then she said something that implied she wasn't clear on the whole "duties" part of the arrangement. Annoyed, I asked her if she had read "that email" about lunch supervision.

(The one in which our principal clearly explained that due to a student's broken arm, ALL staff were now on lunch duty every day, and that she and I were specifically on yard and cafeteria duty during those times. An extra teacher was to be supervising a games room at this time as well, but that teacher was SOMEONE ELSE.)

Blackberry looked at me with a straight face and proclaimed that SHE DOESN'T READ THE PRINCIPAL'S EMAILS ANYMORE.

So then of course I got exasperated and Blackberry walked away because I was hurting her feelings.

I know it was this because when she came back several minutes later, it was to accuse me of talking down to her. Me? Talking down to her? Are you fucking kidding me? How does one say that with a straight face? She said it like this: "Why can't you just tell me in a nicer way?" (To which I replied, "It is not my job to tell you what is in your emails.")

Later in the day she sent me an email explaining that she doesn't not read all of them, rather, she selectively ignores emails because she is mad that the principal keeps misspelling her name.

Head on desk...

2009-11-17T19:10:00.000-08:00

Ever tried, ever failed, no matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.

Samuel Beckett

pinata

2009-11-09T21:44:00.001-08:00

This is brilliant because not only is there a pinata perched energetically atop several tupperware containers, but the sign right next to it requests that nothing be placed on top of the closets overnight.

...Sigh. I work in a weird church.

joy!

2009-11-09T21:33:00.000-08:00

Is it terrible that I feel awesome because we just got our first drafts of report cards and there were several teachers who did not manage to write comments in time but I DID?!!?!?

It gives me much joy to succeed where others fail, particularly if "others" are "assholes." Like today, when the principal came into lunch duty twice, looking for the Blackberry-bearing coworker who was curiously out of the room both times. Or this morning, after the stubborn Bully insisted that we dismiss our students at a time NOT written on the schedule, (despite this being his first day on morning duty and my fortieth or so), the principal wrote everyone an email about the real dismissal time (the one written on the schedule, whadyaknow).

It is so hard to be hands off about it, but I guess they will all fail on their own anyways.

deleting firefox tabs

2009-11-09T21:17:00.000-08:00

First of all, Pomplamoose:

Second of all, Man Cold:

Lastly, brilliant Twilight summary. (I'm peeing my pants excited for New Moon.)

dogs?

2009-11-03T20:13:00.000-08:00

Something amazing about my students is that they can't seem to hear my teacher bell when I ring it and ring it and ring it and ring it, THAT LOUD CLANGING SOUND, they continue talking or working or walking aimlessly around the classroom, but the second the classroom phone whimpers out a pathetic, muted tone, like "...beep...," all twenty five ears perk up and alert me.

The other day I overheard two boys complaining about me, like why can't I ever hear the phone? And I laughed because of course I can't hear it, it's set to number two and you freaking students can't write your names without making commentary, but my bell? My bell is the loudest, most annoying bell sound, yet even when I am standing next to you with my hand on your shoulder, even when we are making eye contact, even when you are watching me shake that metal thing in my hand, you somehow fail to respond.

how to break up

2009-11-03T20:04:00.001-08:00

Inspired by Benja, who is already in a rebound. I told him I'm not so great at boy problems but I am good at getting over breakups, so here are some pearls of wisdom:

There is nothing better than a new guy to get over an old guy. Nothing. It can be ten months and you'll still be pining but ten minutes into your new crush and you'll forget you ever cared about whatshisface.
Remove all evidence from your house. Take down pictures, put away notes, stop playing those CDs. I know you kind of want to torture yourself, but it's better to just make it disappear. In place of all the old junk, put new junk. Frame pictures of friends, sharks, things that make you laugh. You can keep your nostalgia in a box, but keep it out of sight.
Don't go places where you think he might be. Your younger friends will tell you that you shouldn't let him affect your life, but your older and wiser friends will tell you that you shouldn't twist the knife in your own back. Stay away. Find a new bar.
Enlist one friend to keep up on the dirt and disclose any and all information about the former guy. You don't need more than one. Shut up about him with everyone else. They'll think you're over it and treat you like you're over it, which is what you need. They'll start introducing you to new people, talk about happy things, be an escape. Pretty soon it won't be an act.
Remember that every time you have a break up, it gets easier to get over it.

I have been! To Ukraine!

2009-10-26T20:50:00.001-07:00

This is amazing. Watch a minute and get hooked.

say a little prayer

2009-10-26T20:48:00.001-07:00

I've now watched this seven times. Totes wanna be their friend.

unvent

2009-10-22T22:59:00.001-07:00

In the interest of my mental health, I've composed a list of POSITIVE things about my school.

Sixth graders are hilarious in that they try to act like teenagers, but fail miserably. When you watch them working at their tables, they are still little kids.
I love ancient history.
My co-teacher is full of great ideas and has a wealth of curricular knowledge.
I get snack and lunch delivered every day, and I don't even have to carry cash. It is automatically deducted from my paycheck.
We have a cleaning crew come in to vacuum and do trash. We just hired someone to breakdown tables and chairs and set them back up for us.
We have unrestricted wireless internet. I can show YouTube clips to my students. I can play music via Pandora.
We use google for our school email / calendar / docs. It is brilliant and easy. I can gchat with other teachers at work.
I can use the copy machine whenever I want.
I have air conditioning and heating in my classroom, which I control.
My school purchases paper and pencils and markers and glue and all manner of supplies for us. We have a budget with which to purchase additional materials. Last year, I did not pay for a single thing out of pocket.
We are encouraged to plan interesting and meaningful field trips for the school. The process is simple -- you ask the principal. If he says yes, you get to go. There is no complicated form or long waiting process.
It is five miles from my house.

I can basically teach whatever I want in my class. No one is keeping me to a pacing plan or even checking up on what the kids are learning. I decide which texts to use and which tests to administer, if any. I could do a read aloud for the whole class period for a week, and no one would say anything.

This last one is what I have to keep remembering. It's one of the main reasons I was so happy to leave LAUSD and come here. While other aspects of our programming need tuning, and some staff members act like assholes, I am still treated

2009-10-22T22:58:00.001-07:00

It's amazing how the students in my class manage to get out of the seats and mess around even WHEN THEY ARE TYPING.

gift horse! avert your eyes!

2009-10-20T22:00:00.000-07:00

I forgot to mention the bright spot in my day, when one of my students gave me an awesome, soft, gray, new sweater for no apparent reason! The card reads,

Dear Ms. Superdeens,

You are very nice and you have a lot of patience. You teach very good and you do very nice activities, like the one where we had to find papers around the room and with the lights off. We needed a flashlight, we were like cave people. You are a very nice person.
Sincerely,
Student

....heart.

(Also there was the Deaf checker at Trader Joes who signed to me and I signed back and that was awesome but then I got flustered and forgot all my vocab. Next time.)

work vent

2009-10-20T21:03:00.000-07:00

Maybe if I make a list of all the things that are bothering me at work, it won't suck as much?

My classroom is way too small. Not enough room to walk around students. Not enough room to lay out materials. Definitely not enough room to separate and/or isolate students who are disruptive. Complete chaos, often. If you want them to stay in their chairs, you have to give them lots of materials and manipulatives and things at the their table to work with. If you can't rearrange the room, you have to let them get up and work in groups and be creative. It's impossibly limiting to have neither control over the room environment nor space to move around. Can you imagine teaching a class in the confines of your dining room? Without redecorating? It's kind of like that.
From one to three extra adults on Mondays and Wednesdays cramps the room even more. I'm thankful that we now have a push-in resource teacher, but still. With zero adults it was already overcrowded.
Co-carpool duty teachers often just hang out instead of helping. One is sometimes on her Blackberry. Blackberry usage during supervision or "on-time" should be reprimanded, in my opinion. It's worse than teaching with your Bluetooth headpiece on, because at least then you can still make eye contact with your students.
The church continues to leave extra things in the classroom, like rocking chairs, diaper bins, and crap on top of the closet that could totally fall on someone's head in an earthquake.
Plus they use our whiteboards, after protesting against putting them up in the first place.
On shortened days, the sixth grade is relegated to the cafe. So in addition to losing an entire period, we also must move seventy five textbooks. All so that a certain math teacher may occupy our room WHY I DON'T KNOW. Seriously, I brought this point up when we discussed room placements, that it doesn't make sense to displace US with a displaced HER, she has to move anyways so why doesn't she move straight to the cafe and leave our class in our room instead of moving her class AND moving our class, and NO ONE WAS ABLE TO COUNTER THIS ARGUMENT, yet, we were forced to "Just try it."
Why don't I have information about my IEP kids and it's already the end of October? I am failing students left and right because no one has even told me if they are dyslexic or blind or lazy. It's not like I haven't asked. (Several times.) I am trying my best to play detective but I'm not trained for this. I fear that this could be a liability and the parents are going to be really mad come report cards.
Teeny, tiny, miniscule closet. It's a few inches bigger than my TV cabinet. I'm not exaggerating when I tell you that that is the only storage we have in the classroom for both English, History, and Geography.
Co-teachering is not at teamwork level yet. Inching along.
No windows. They cleaned our carpet last night. It is going to smell like dog tomorrow.
Am going to have to begin teaching an elective in November, even though I and the other humanities teachers have MORE classes and LESS preps than everyone else. I do love electives, I just desperately need the extra two periods.

Whew. I'm going to stop now because it's time to brush my teeth. I feel slightly better because I boiled down the room thing into that great dining room metaphor.

this is so two thousand and nine

2009-10-19T22:37:00.001-07:00

I just got this text message from my friend in Sacramento:

"Um, your brother just came out on Facebook."

My first thought was, people are still using Facebook?

My second thought was, which brother?

So I called up my friend and she told me which, (Irony? I was expecting it to be the other one), and then she read me the posts and the comments, because I'm the only person in the world not on Facebook, and we're chatting, speculating whether it's serious or a joke, and the whole time I'm wondering when my cell phone is going to ring with that personal call from my family member, oh dear brother... I mean, right?

Since the call didn't come, I hung up and called my brother myself, exclaiming, SERIOUSLY!?!?!? FACEBOOK?!? And he laughed a little guiltily, or amusingly -- the two are hard to distinguish -- and I reassured him of my love and happiness and all that BUT! Made sure to tell him how insulted I was that this is how I find out.

Facebook. Hilarious.

2009-10-12T21:46:00.000-07:00

I'm done with the writing every day thing. It didn't really work for me, given that I'm not trying to be a writer and most worknights I just want to lay on the couch and watch hulu. Also this year I am dealing with a lot of failure, and it's no fun to revisit these frustrations, like for example on Friday when I spent hours and hours setting up a very meaningful field trip and prepping the kids and sending out parent messages and creating worksheets and planning review sessions and then the fucking buses don't show up. So.....Narwals!

sexy halloween ideas

2009-10-11T23:46:00.000-07:00

From Jezebel commentors.

It requires about 2.4 seconds to put on a short skirt and tape a piece of bread to the top of your head and go as "Sexy Toaster."

The best I've ever seen was at a costume party in college. Two friends went together as a joint costume: he dressed up as Santa with a collar and leash on, she dressed up as a dominatrix leading him around. They were "subordinate clause."

Sexy Hester Pryne.
Wear whatever you want, put a big ol red "A" on your chest.

How about a sexy leper!
My clothes fell off! so did my left hand!

2009-10-08T16:58:00.001-07:00

This is good for a laugh. Here is a single item multiple choice pop quiz that I gave my students after a particularly appalling class. As you can see, only an idiot* or someone blatantly not paying attention would fail.

What was Friday’s movie about:
a) Whales
b) The Shang Dynasty
c) Fire
d) Christianity
e) World War II
f) The Roman Empire
g) Japanese Art
h) Trade in the Mediterranean region
i) Gods and Goddesses

Your answer: ________

*The correct answer is "F." Thank goodness no one picked "a," although sadly there were a few "g"s and "i"s.

egnever

2009-10-07T21:17:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, before we (somewhat) successfully navigated a discussion about collaborating and sharing prep loads, I was hating on my co-teacher. In addition to all the not working together, she was also not cleaning up after herself. Our school is housed in a church and we must essentially "disappear" every Friday. There is a lot of putting away. All of which was begin done by me.

After a particularly stressful Friday, I returned to our shared classroom and discovered that she had not done a lick of work there, had not touched the work folders or worksheet piles or electronics or office supplies or textbooks or box of literature books or pencil sharpener, on and on and on. She had gone home and left thirty minutes of work for me.

In the front of the classroom was a big pile of student projects, most of them total crap, but a few were nice and neat and perhaps worthy of hanging on to. We had pushed them under the whiteboard and posted a sign the whole week that read, "Take your projects home or else we will throw them away." We planned that together, let's be clear.

Well, I am nothing if not true to my word, and so Friday afternoon, after I hauled all of our shit to the closet and to the parking lot bin, while I was silently cussing her out, I threw the whole pile of posters in the trash. Including the two posters that I knew for a fact were not student projects but were hers and had fallen into the crap pile that morning. I felt not a single drop of remorse.

All last week she kept exclaiming that she was missing this one particular poster (trash bin) that this kid had made and was going to be pissed if he found out she lost it. I kept shrugging and shaking my head that I hadn't seen it and even alluded to the fact that it may have gotten thrown out. I know revenge is a dirty thing, but I can't tell you how good it made me feel.

subject and predicate

2009-10-06T20:20:00.000-07:00

Grammar is fun!

fall

2009-10-05T22:40:00.000-07:00

The weather just changed. Friday was boiling hot, and I was wearing tank tops and slip-ons and sleeping under a cotton sheet and single cotton blanket, rolling the windows down in the car and blowing the fan indoors. Chocolate on the counter was melting and I was eating popsicles daily.

Last night I had to add an extra woolen blanket to my bed, and I didn't need to air out the car on the way home from work, and I wore my sweater for half of the day and even developed goose bumps while sitting out in the sun in the afternoon. Right now, I'm wearing a sweatshirt to type on the couch and planning on making tea for breakfast. I'm glad that I can finally wrap myself in a blanket to watch a video and break out all of those heavy jeans that have been sitting on my shelves all summer.

ardi!

2009-10-02T23:14:00.000-07:00

How exciting is this?!!

Ok, number one, I'm psyched because human evolution is FASCINATING. Last year I learned about this hominid stuff for the first time while teaching my students. Then I learned it again when reading A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson. Which introduced me to the Mungo Man fossil discovery and theory of multiple origins and when did humans ACTUALLY begin to migrate or develop intelligent enough brains to build large boats? My trip to Australia yielded more fodder for this subject.

Number two is that for several weeks now, as we have been starting our first unit on Early Hominids and historical scientists, I have been telling my students that we can only ever be ninety-nine percent sure about prehistory, that since no one left writing and not many people even left bones, we are only making educated guesses at this point. Like, we think Lucy didn't make tools because we haven't found any, but for all we know they are all buried at the bottom of the ocean. And I kept stressing the point that scientists could find a bone or a tool or a piece of writing tomorrow, and all of our theories could be proven wrong, and we would have to get new history books.

AND THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

Number three is that students came to school today carrying the article to share during current events. It is so exciting to have real things happen in the world that relate to the ancient things that we study in our classrooms. Newspapers don't usually print segments about transitive verbs or ancient Egyptian diets. Relevance is the spice of education!*

Number four is that in our conversation about this finding, students were throwing around the words "hominid," "Australopithecus," and "biped." Nothing is as rewarding as when your educating sticks.

*Naked pictures of ape-humans can also spice up a lesson.

whoa oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh ah!

2009-10-02T00:09:00.000-07:00

It is past midnight and I just now got home from choir practice. We had an audition for the jazz ensemble, singing the Blenders' "The Christmas Song." I didn't think it was that hard, but many folks came to the audition not certain of the notes. Then our director had us sing by quartet, and within each quartet she listened to pairs. There were at least forty people auditioning. I think I killed.

I've had this song on repeat in my car every morning this week. I sing to it on the freeway on my way to work at sunup. It's been how I wake up.

Edit: I GOT IN!!!!!

hypotrichosis

2009-09-30T20:14:00.001-07:00

This is the lamest, most pathetic first world "problem" out there.

LATISSE^® solution is a prescription treatment for hypotrichosis used to grow eyelashes, making them longer, thicker and darker. Eyelash hypotrichosis is another name for having inadequate or not enough eyelashes.

Watch the video here! Then be embarrassed that they've made a treatment for this!

things I wished when I was in middle school

2009-09-30T17:44:00.000-07:00

That my best friend Elisheva would move back from Cleveland, Ohio, and be my best friend again. Oh yes I wore my BeFri necklace those years.
That my roughly same-aged neighbor across the street would fall in love with me and come over and hang out, even though I not once introduced myself or made conversation. I imagined it would happen a'la the teenage protagonists in Honey, I Shrunk the Kids wherein one neighbor spies the other doing something cute (dancing with a broom) and then the next thing you know, they are kissing under a giant blade of grass.
That a tube of deodorant would appear in my bathroom without my having to ask mom about it.
That my parents would just freakin' buy a bar of chocolate for us, seriously, just once. Oranges are not dessert.
That one of my brothers would be a sister.

*Inspired by Coates .

why kay

2009-09-28T23:05:00.001-07:00

On this Holiest of Holies, the rabbi asked us to introduce ourselves to a stranger and share a moment when we felt closest to the Jewish community, and I turned to the lady next to me and started describing the Shabbat club I formed with my friends several years ago, and how sad I was that it fell apart because everyone graduated and moved out of LA, and the lady asks me how old I am, and I answer twenty seven, and she asks if I have a boyfriend, and I say no, and then she urges me to sign up for Jdate and meet a man because I am getting old and running out of time.

That's when I pretended to be really interested in the al cheyts.

this is how I feel right now

2009-09-25T17:50:00.000-07:00

2009-09-24T19:06:00.001-07:00

I MAY have just watched all of Michael Jackson's interviews with Oprah, circa 1993.

a snake will always be a snake

2009-09-23T20:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday us Founding Teachers had a bitch session with our director. The shit has hit the fan at our school, and he basically told us that we need to get off our high horses and start being proactive. I totally agreed with him (silently) because compared to some of our big issues, like the fact that our personal relationships with students are deteriorating, some of my colleagues' complaints were downright petty. ("Why do we have to do icebreakers?") He said we had to speak up or shut up, basically. Together, we came up with solutions to our two biggest concerns.

This morning, I walked into a room in which the other three were discussing the meeting, and a certain bitchy someone asked me how I thought it went. "I thought it went well," I said, "We got to complain and then we worked out two huge issues." My satisfaction was not what she was hoping for. She started whining about a number of issues that were bothering her, all of which were apparently the fault of our new principal. I stayed silent, hoping that someone would change the topic. These very same issues were aired at our meeting YESTERDAY. This girl loves to complain, and she is a Repeater. I can't stand it.

Then one of them asked us if we were going to talk to the principal about "it." I didn't say anything, and then the question was directed at me. I said that I was going to talk to her about MY issues, and that YOU can talk about YOUR issues. This did not go over well.

Bitchy looked at me funny and in an accusing tone reported that she HAD tried to talk to the principal, but blah blah blah laundry list of complaints. Whine, whine, whine. I told her that I didn't like it when we all got together and ragged on the principal, that it made me feel uncomfortable when people are talked about behind their back. Coworker GOT MAD AT ME.

At first she was completely defensive, like of COURSE she has a right to vent to her coworkers, to which I replied that it really made me uncomfortable to talk about people who aren't present. Then, she tried to explain to me why it was OK for her to complain about the principal (who was not there) on behalf of other teachers, to which I replied that it really made me uncomfortable to talk about people who aren't present. I left the room. A few minutes later, she came over and made her case again, like why can't I just let her complain in peace? She has a right to vent, don't I know that? What am I doing, telling her how I feel!?!?!? She doesn't agree!!! She was so mad at me, she had the same tone as last year when she scolded me for "not being flexible" (doing what she wanted). I replied that it really made me uncomfortable to talk about people who aren't present.

She stared at me for a few seconds, and I stared back with my, "Yes?" face, and then she left the room.

goals

2009-09-22T17:09:00.000-07:00

I am having some difficulty with my co-teacher this year. She is fresh out of Teach for America, an organization I have several issues with. Girlfriend has a lot of energy, a lot of enthusiasm, but again, has only taught "the TFA way." We are having some trouble collaborating and I thought I'd think out loud here. These are my non-negotiables.

Student skills:

Complete a list of assignments on their own. (Managing their time.) (Hence the WTS)
Talk thoughtfully about books they are reading. (Lit circles)
Enjoy reading.
Work in a group to produce a physical product.
Work in partners or in a group to get work accomplished. (Know who to ask for help and who to avoid.)
Be part of a discussion about events in literature or history. Be critical. Defend arguments.
Be familiar with History Alive! curriculum, including previews, note taking, and processing exercises. (Use in 7th, 8th grade)

Teacher wants:

Minimal and shared xeroxing (I xerox for you, you xerox for me, we both try to save paper.)
Minimal and shared grading (I grade for you, you grade for me, we throw stuff away when it doesn't inform our teaching.)
Use teacher materials whenever applicable (It is not always worth it to create a prettier/organized/comprehensive worksheet. Are students getting the practice they need?)
Neither of us stressing out about workload.
Our classes are run similarly enough that one teacher could sub in for the other without having the period wasted.

I can give up:

I don't care what is on the WTS as long as it addresses the topics we decided for ltp and as long as I don't have to make worksheets.
End of chapter history tests. (I still want to give some sort of quiz.)
I don't care what their Lit circle projects are, as long as they address the skills above.
Cumulative tasks for each history unit. Open to new ideas here. We just can't do them all, though. Must also consider if they are necessary. (Already listed in ltp.)

number of shit projects and presentations I had to grade today: seven

2009-09-21T21:17:00.001-07:00

It cracks me up how eager and excited I was to see the awful first crop of lit circle projects. Most of them totally sucked. I'm so amused by their badness. It's like how last year, Stephen predicted that the average on the first history test would be sixty, and I was aghast at that low number, but he was spot on. We spent so much time instructing and pulling and conferencing and suggesting for their first projects last year, but they were mostly sucky, too. It took a few rounds for the majority to step it up and realize what it takes to be a successful sixth grader.

That's why I was amused this year by the prospect of so many sub-par creations. I was eager to see how the kiddies would fuck up. Despite my repeated suggestions, despite my elucidation of project requirements, despite my going to each group and telling them exactly what they needed to change in order to receive full credit, there were the duds. We got a confusing cowboy infomercial (not quite relevant to the book at hand), several Wanted! posters (devoid of details identifying the perpetrator), and a sad, empty diorama. I'm laughing as I type this.

One of the hardest lessons for a new teacher is you have to let them fail.

too much new year

2009-09-20T23:03:00.000-07:00

After eating the equivalent of several apples on Friday night, Saturday lunch, and Saturday dinner, I can warn you against doing the same because you, too, might end up on your couch for several hours moaning and groaning and using your laptop as a heating pad for your stomach. Apparently it fucks up your digestive system, who knew.

self portrait at twenty eight

2009-09-19T22:29:00.000-07:00

As a way of getting in touch with my origins
every night I set the alarm clock
for the time I was born so that waking up
becomes a historical reenactment and the first thing I do
is take a reading of the day and try to flow with it like
when you're riding a mechanical bull and you strain to learn
the pattern quickly so you don't inadvertently resist it.

by David Berman

gun control

2009-09-17T18:42:00.000-07:00

It is legal to carry a gun. And it is also legal to not bathe. But most people, out of respect for the comfort of others in whose society they choose to live, do in fact get in the shower with a bar of soap every day. They don’t HAVE to. But they’re also adults who have gotten over those dark, teenage “you can’t tell me what to do” feelings and have decided that in order to be accepted, and function well with others, there are certain things you just don’t do. Like abstain from bathing. Or carry a gun and an ammo belt into the library where people are trying to relax and read a book, and where children are supposed to feel safe. Or a host of other things.

--Mudflats

favorite things of other people's that now I love

2009-09-17T17:17:00.000-07:00

Tova - cheese. There is this cheese that they sell at Trader Joes which has become my favorite entree. Being that I have high cholesterol, that is not a good thing. English cheddar with carmelized onions. It's so good it could be dessert.

Haley - stripes. She's obsessed, now I'm obsessed.

Karen - baked cauliflower. You make this by chopping up cauliflower drizzling olive oil and curry powder on top, and cooking in the oven for thirty minutes. It is so tasty, and healthy too. I didn't eat cauliflower for fifteen years because way back in the fifth grade, I threw up after eating some for dinner (possibly unrelated), but Karen's recipe turned me around.

Danny, the friend of a friend I hooked up with - Billy Joel. At a New Years party sometime during college, Danny exclaimed about how Billy Joel was his favorite singer. I had heard OF him then, but never heard him. I promptly returned to university and illegally downloaded his greatest hits. The next year, I saw Billy Joel and Elton John at the Forum. It was one of the best concerts I've ever been to. Oh What a Night. *

All of my ex-students - Twilight. I used to scoff; Now I'm a believer.

* I've always thought "Oh What a Night" was by Billy Joel, and was my favorite song, until this second when I looked it up on youtube and found it was Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons.

co-teaching is more than sharing a room

2009-09-16T17:52:00.000-07:00

I feel like last year I was co-parenting this adorable little child with my partner. We were pretty much on the same page about stuff, and we talked about how to raise our child A LOT, so even though he did things slightly different than I, we were on the same program so that I could step in for him and he could step in for me and the outcome would be the same. If I were sick or tired, or he were sick or tired, we covered for each other.

Then all of a sudden, I had ten more children and got divorced and now I'm dealing with the step-mom and shared custody. There is no helping each other out, there is no substituting during "my" or "her" time, there is really no crossover. Sure, we talk about parenting from time to time, but then she does her thing and I do mine. So I have more kids, but less time and less support.

I hate it.

crocodile dundee, live blog

2009-09-15T19:46:00.000-07:00

So I've just gotten around to watching this adventure classic, and omigod is it awesomely bad. Watching it after my Australia adventure is brilliant. Some notes:

The buffalo? Totally would have been scared silly of the car. On my Kakadu trip, we were driving along in our four wheel drive bus and saw a water buffalo cross the road ahead. As we got closer, it spied us, and mad a mad rush for the woods. We passed very, very slowly and it watched us from its cover. As we stopped to take pictures, it backed up until it was totally hidden from sight.
The riverboat scene is spot on Mary River. Flocks of birds taking off in tandem, floating lily pads, picturesque mangroves sticking out of the water... The only inaccuracy is that crocodiles do NOT run that fast unless they are being provoked or haven't eaten in months.
Dundee's facts about his "attacker" crocodile not wanting to eat him but simply doing a death roll to save him for later are correct.
The scene in the morning where girlie decides to set off for the escarpment by herself? With the gun? The huge rock in the background? I climbed that and took several pictures from it. Also the escarpment that she is heading for is the boundry between Kakadu Park and Arnhem Land. I climbed that, too.
Lots of pandana palms. True. l;sjljlhniu!!!!! Holy shit I called that crocodile attack. YOU NEVER GO NEAR THE EDGE OF THE WATER. DUH. He should have warned her instead of waiting for her to be attacked.
Camping scene where Dundee checks out her butt -- I don't understand where the yellow sand came from. I was in the outback for seven days and didn't see anything that wasn't red.
Aboriginals only wear decorative paint during ceremonies. I like that his dad works for tourism. Totes realistic. Ok the paint makes sense now that they are doing a dance.

It's now the New York portion of the movie and I don't have much commentary to add except Give Me a Break, he's grown up in the bush but are we supposed to believe he never went to school or read a newspaper? I hate when they make "country boys" completely ignorant, instead of just culturally ignorant. (Also the woman comes off looking like a bitch for taking things like a bidet for granted. Please.)

moniker

2009-09-15T18:00:00.000-07:00

You know what I don't get? How is "progressive" a political label? Doesn't "progressive" mean "moving forward?" Don't all people want to progress? Don't all political groups want their country to progress? Granted, we might have different ways of moving our society forwards, and we might have different ideas about what moving forwards looks like, but isn't the goal for everyone to advance? Wouldn't it be weird if we had a party called the "regressives?" Every time I hear the far left labeled, it makes me think of the far right using abacuses and loading up mules to go to market.

drip...drip...drip...

2009-09-14T18:09:00.000-07:00

Today I led a fantastic cave discovery lesson. We turned the lights off and the "cave sound effects" up. Kids had flashlights which they used to "find" pictures of artifacts taped onto the walls. For each artifact, they had to determine what it was and why the artists made/painted it. (The kids had some awesome hypothesis, my favorite being that the Lascaux hand prints were made as a memorial to a loved one.) Then they read their textbooks (by flashlight) to see what social scientists think about those artifacts.

It is so nice to finally be done with the training and dive into the curriculum. Learning is fun. Talking about learning is not fun.

a weekend so productive

2009-09-13T19:36:00.001-07:00

This week I managed to see all three of my favorite people in Los Angeles who are perpetually unavailable. I slept over at Glenda's on Friday, the only way I was going to tail it out to Woodland Hills. We floated around on the pool (neither of us got farther than the floaties), watched some horribly bad TV (Melrose Place the new series), ate dinner and dessert, and looked at my Ozzie pictures. Then on Saturday, I hung out with Wade in the jacuzzi and took a nap on his bed while he spreadsheeted, then he and I and Zach went to Inglorious Basterds. Which was awesome. This morning Nicole came over and we ate some fruit and made pancakes and talked about her wedding in January.

In addition to all that, I bought seven flashlights at the ninety nine cent store and got my hair trimmed. When have I last had a weekend so productive.

and another thing

2009-09-13T19:34:00.000-07:00

I just decided that I'm going to embark on my own personal NaPoBlo or whatever it is called, and write something every single day for the next while. I'd like to do it for a year but that just seems way too ambitious.

Edit: Each post will have to be different.

three more

2009-09-07T01:47:00.000-07:00

Joan Armatrading - Love and Affection

West Indian Girl - Sofia

Feist - Honey Honey

three amazing songs I found on the teevee

2009-09-05T11:44:00.000-07:00

Goldfrapp - You Never Know

I Monster - Heaven

Pink (Featuring Indigo Girls) - Dear Mr. President

first day of school guilt

2009-09-01T23:19:00.000-07:00

Today was the first day of school, FREAK OUT, very stressful and not for the normal reasons. My new room is very tiny, and while I'm happy to be sharing a closet with a neater teacher (who let me organize the whole thing), there is no room for a desk! There is no room for a single extra body! There is no room for me to be in there during my preps, or for her to be there during her preps! It is so cramped that there is no way to sneak in unnoticed to grab your purse.

Also I've had this nagging feeling for a week that I did an awful thing by not picking a certain student to be in my advisory again. She is my favorite kid in the whole school, very mature and insightful and kind of reminds me of me. She is a true leader and though it would not be legal or socially just, (and thus I would never do it), I would totally trust her to lead the class in my absence. That's saying a lot for a twelve year old, but we just really clicked.

When we made new advisory groups last week, I was determined to have her in mine, but when we got to her name, I didn't say anything. I don't know why. Maybe in the moment I was feeling overly selfish and didn't want to seem too grabby in front of the other teachers. As soon as the day was over I was already regretting my omission, and I haven't stopped thinking about it. I saw her this morning and she asked me in a wounded tone why she wasn't with me again. GUILT.

I tried to rationalize that the move is better for her because I might treat her with undue favoritism, or give her too much control for her own good. Placing her with another teacher will let her grow independently. I also convinced myself for a quick second that my advisory group will be younger feeling without her, but I'm not really sure that that is even an advantage.

This afternoon I had a brief epiphany wherein I remembered that THIS IS JUST A JOB and she is not my child that I'm having to give up for adoption. Like any other student, she grows up and moves on, and in her place I have a whole new set of potential favorites.

But like I said, that moment was brief. I feel like I made this huge mistake that I'm going to regret for the rest of the year. I wouldn't feel this way at all if she had been randomly assigned to another teacher, but the fact that I had a choice and I PASSED really kills me.

dream?

2009-09-01T23:14:00.000-07:00

Last night I dreamt that I was dating a tyrannosaurus rex. It was problematic because he kept losing his temper and then would want to eat me. I had to calm him down. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking omigod, that was weirdly hilarious, my boyfriend was A DINOSAUR.

Today I was talking about the dream with my old roommate Abbey, and we decided that a stegosaurus is more my type. It was the truest conversation I've had in months.

NEW MUSIC!!!

2009-08-29T23:02:00.000-07:00

Confession: I have downloaded over fifty mp3s in the past week. Ninety nine percent of them were free on amazon's daily deal page, but one had to be obtained perhaps not legally? Only because it is so freaking awesome? I'll be playing it for my Title I students? Is that ok now? What if I volunteer in a hospital every week? Does that negate the stealing?

Anyhoo, this song was playing in the background of some online wedding photography website that my new friend Emily Shmemily was looking at, and it instantly transported me to a green shady meadow with popsicles and cloud pictures and colorful and slightly out of focus pictures taken on a Leica camera. I've been listening to it for the past fifteen minutes.

Empire of the Sun - Walking on a Dream

the summer of michael jackson

2009-08-29T18:20:00.000-07:00

That was the summer of 1963 - when everybody called me Baby, and it didn't occur to me to mind. That was before President Kennedy was shot, before the Beatles came, when I couldn't wait to join the Peace Corps, and I thought I'd never find a guy as great as my dad. That was the summer we went to Kellerman's.

This summer has felt a little bit Dirty Dancing to me. Radio stations have been playing Michael Jackson and Jackson 5 on frequent rotation, and the hot days of 2009 have melted a bit into the hot days of 1964 and 1971 and 1982 and 1991. Blasting oldies and disco out your car window has never been this cool. Michael has been re-embraced, with the nostalgia usually reserved for poodle skirts and letterman jackets. Gone is the creepy ghost who was not safe around kids. In his place is a cultural icon who broke down racial barriers and changed the history of music. This is the Michael Jackson of 1992, before the sexual abuse allegations, before he was more white than black, before he was reduced to a tabloid has-been. This is the Michael Jackson with stringy, shoulder length hair, with mocha skin, with shiny jackets and shortened black dancing pants, with contagious stage energy and a overwhelming desire to fix the world. You can see him on memorial and tribute pages around the internet and at newsstands. This is the Michael Jackson of 2009, remembered with reverence and humanity.

I have been a constant Michael Jackson fan, ever since my brother won the Dangerous album (cassette) at a Bar Mitvah party. (See here, here, here, here, and here.) I wasn't very depressed when he died or anything, because I don't know him personally and I was not holding my breath for another We Are The World or Thriller moment. His glory days are truly behind him.

I was just blasting my Jackson 5 CD while getting ready for a date, and my windows are wide open in the stuffy August heat. A neighbor I've never spoken to came by to introduce herself because she was sitting in her living room, rocking out to my tunes. She was so jazzed to hear "Mikey" that she just had to find out who was this other fan in the building!? We laughed, because it's cool to like him now.

I mean really, how can you not smile when you hear his sweet little boy voice confidently confiding, "I'll be there."

the most wonderful time

2009-08-28T18:55:00.000-07:00

All of a sudden, I have ten thousand things on my to-do list. It's a big shock that la-la summerland is ending and it's back to work for me. I can barely concentrate because of how many tabs are open on my computer, but this is how I work best. I'll multitask the shit out of the weekend and then welcome, kids!

2009-08-26T21:28:00.001-07:00

The current administration is so fucking awesome:

A million followers – nice. What would you like to see more of from this feed? Photos? Quotes? Cowbell? Tell us @whitehouse

2009-08-23T12:34:00.000-07:00

I was so shocked I nearly dropped the Bible I was using to help me masturbate into my gun.

Sometimes Huffington Post is hilarious.

...aussie observations

2009-08-20T19:36:00.001-07:00

Aussies don't chew a lot of gum. There are only about 4 flavor choices at any given convenience store. It does not get much better at grocery stores. A popular flavor here is blueberry, which I am eager to try.

Seriously, everyone is white. White with blue eyes and blondish hair. There are very few people with black hair, and even fewer black or brown people. In Sydney, there were many Asians, but up north not so much beyond the tourists.

They do not use paper towels here, unless you are in a really fancy establishment. Most bathrooms use air dryers. This is only useful if you don't want to waste paper or if your jeans and tennis shoes are soaked from the rain. Otherwise, it dries out your hands and takes a lot of time.

The canned tuna selection at the grocery store is incredible. They sell as much tuna here as we do chips in the US. Tuna comes already flavored in little pop top cans, so you can take a piece of bread and a can for lunch and be all set to go. Some flavors include: sun dried tomato and onion, lemon pepper, thai red curry, sweet corn and mayonnaise.

team jacob

2009-08-20T00:42:00.000-07:00

Thank god I am finally done with all of the Twilight books and can get on with my life. I am happy to report that the saga ended satisfyingly, with enough to give me warm thoughts as I fall into bed and no doubt stumble around half asleep tomorrow at work. I have put in about forty man hours with those babies and half of them were at night. I recommend them wholeheartedly to everyone, but just don't start reading until you have emptied your week of children or gainful employment.

I haven't read this much in ever, and I really feel like a better person. I'm talking about the ten books I read over the month plus I was in Australia, plus the four gargantuan vampire novels here in LA. I have overflowing bookcases at home and at work, but for some reason I end up watching movies more than reading. Let this be a sign!

2009-08-17T00:03:00.001-07:00

This is the song that made me cry while walking through the Botanical Gardens in Melbourne. I heart Nickel Creek.

a little late to 2008

2009-08-16T23:46:00.001-07:00

I am not going to lie, I have spent the past few days holed up in my apartment reading the Twilight Saga books. The first day I started reading, I stayed up until five in the morning. The next day I stayed up until two, but the early bedtime was due to work the next morning and not because the sequel was any less riveting. Yesterday I lay in bed for five hours reading and the only reason I got up was because I was late to my friend's engagement party. Today was pretty much the same story, only more so. I had zero food in the house so was eating crackers and salsa for breakfast and lunch until luckily, I finished number three at sixish and allowed myself to go to the market. I've got the last book to read and I'm determined to finish it by Tuesday night, which will have been a week since I started the series. Thirty two hundred pages, not bad.

If I find any of my students sneaking this book under their desks during lessons, I'm just going to escort them out into the hallway with my blessing to skip class until they are done. It's not like you can concentrate on ANYTHING while your head is residing in Forks, Washington.

(True story: I went to a concert on Thursday night and brought the book with me to read before the show started. I did put it down during the performance, but felt my mind wandering to Bella and Jacob between songs.)

I can't believe I resisted for so long. People, if you are a teacher or have teenage kids or really if you want to remain relevant in society, JUST FUCKING READ THE BOOKS.

(Also: I have a mad girl crush on Kristen Stewart.)