slutty moms

This is exactly the kind of conversations that I have with my mom, the ones that afterwards I have to recount to every single one of my friends because I'm still in shock, like the time she told me she slept with her best friend's boyfriend while they were on a break and oops! gave him mono:

It’s 93 degrees in Michigan. My sister and I decide to spend the day at the pool; hoping to get rid of tan lines and look our best in our strapless bridesmaid dresses. Since I failed to pack a swimsuit, I raid my mom’s closet and come across one of her fun, skanky bikinis from the seventies. I run down to the kitchen to model my nostalgic find. My mom is making some gigantic twenty-layer taco dip and looks up at me and smiles.
“Oh, I used to love that bikini.”
She grabs a knife and starts dicing baby tomatoes.
“I lost my virginity in that bathing suit.”
She continues dicing tomatoes.

From Mindy Raf, my new favorite person.