haley bojangles catherine ecru brook serafina suri morganstern

I just got off the phone with Haley and realized that Schmo is scarily similar to her husband Dan. Let me count the ways:

1. They are both old men. Like, nine years older. They come with old friends.
   
2. Love pot.
3. Love pot so much that they smoke it all the time.
4. Love sports. Dan has the advantage here, because sports is his job.
5. Stubborn refusal to express their emotions.
6. Require begging to elicit compliments other than those based on our vaginas and expertise in bed.
   
7. Hilarious. Schmo is the funniest person I have ever met. Dan is weird funny, like Haley. For example, the paper bag puppet he made and hung up one midnight.
8. No sense of style whatsoever, and holding onto hideous pieces of clothing that aren't even soft.
9. Even if their clothes were cute, they would be way too big to fit us in the "boyfriend's dress shirt in the morning" kind of way. Boyfriend jeans would be a foot too long and fall down to my ankles.
   
10. Bad decorative style. Dan had these paintings with integrated frames that I can't even begin to explain other than to say that are pretty ugly, and when they bought their house, Haley hung several of them behind bookcases. Schmo has a big collection of nothing on his walls.