the maybe date pt. 1

I have this thing where the only way I will make a new male friend is In Context, ie I work with them or they are a friend-of-a-friend and the group of us has hung out together a lot. For example, Ezra and Ariel are work friends. BJ has now become a friend-of-a-friend friend because of all the time he has come to the apt to hang with Miriam and the three of us have talked. BUT. A guy randomly trying to be my friend? Clearly he is interested, in the more-than-friends way. At least in my head. Because in my head, why would a guy want a female friend? They don't. And that makes me tres uncomfortable. And so I automatically reject them if they make any sort of move in that direction before they are comfortably In Context friends.

The last time Wade came to LA was I think over Pesach, and I joined his dinner party "with the boys" at Tuk Tuk. In attendance were Scott (who is crazy and completely harmless and seems to not have any game and so I am very comfortable with), Scott's ex Piper (apparently there is a long and drawn-out story but I don't care), Nate Smith, Crazy Jeff, and Matt Janoll (sp?) aka Uncle Che. (Wade and Scott are awesome and generous with their nicknames.) I felt really uncomfortable and out of my element, though, because I barely knew the others, even though Wade was doing a great job of talking to me. I ended up talking a lot to Matt, who happened to be sitting across from me. I basically chatted him up over my favorite topic of conversation: me. I can talk about myself for hours. I love to talk about myself. It's because I actually like me and happen to think I am quite interesting. And I tell good stories that are partially self-deprecating so that my audience FALLS IN LOVE WITH ME. In this case, though, I SWEAR I was not trying to flirt with Matt; I was just trying to pass the time until dinner was over.

I ended up inviting him to Shabbat dinner at our apt that week, because I was really proud that we were hosting a dinner finally, and I wanted to look like a nice person, even though I TOTALLY didn't care if he came or not. I know this sounds awful of me, but I pride myself on no bullshitting so that I don't have to bullshit further. You know, as soon as you fake heLLO! how ARE you?!?! someone, you have to sit and listen and pretend to CARE how they are, even though you'd rather be shaving your legs. So as soon as the invitation left my lips I was mentally hitting my head with a hammer. Obviously he accepted. And obviously when he showed up at dinner I had to babysit and I HATE BABYSITTING. I was still being my charming self, however, because there were other people in attendance who didn't know him, and it would have been flat out rude if I was miffing him at my own dinner. And, to be honest, he was kinda funny.

After that dinner, the roommates invited him to the party we were throwing that weekend. I did a horrible job of being his friend by completely ignoring him after the initial hello and spending all night flirting with Abbey's friends. (This was the party that I didn't know was a party, so he turned out to be one of three people I knew, which made it PRETTY DAMN EXHAUSTING avoiding him.) At this point, I realized, shit, he likes you, and you are not into it.

THEN I bumped into him AGAIN at Jenny and Aaron's wedding (there are only four Jews) and of course he came and talked to me. Shit shit shit shit shit. He asked for my number and there was nothing I could do but give it to him. Over the next few weeks he called me a bunch of times and sometimes I answered and we chatted and I found some way to get off the phone. He eventually stopped calling. So that was the maybe date that almost but never was.

(Funny story-- at the wedding I was sitting next to Lucy's husband, who I had just met. Sometime during dinner this guy who is Abbey's friend came over and asked for our number, so that he could call Abbey. A few minutes later Matt came over to ask for my number. Lucy's husband was (mistakenly) impressed at my popularity.)