Sunday, March 29, 2009

viva la musica

I have been crazy downloading and buying. I did the guesstimation last night and figured I've acquired eighty new songs in the past two weeks. NUTS! Jokes on you because I've actually consumed it all.

  1. Juana Molina. We've talked about her already. Love.

  2. Dolly Parton. I wasn't sure I would like her, but I've been on a fiddle kick since January and even created a Nickel Creek Pandora station. I adora them. Dolly is very upbeat and happy and that's what I need after a break-up, plus the album was like two dollars on amazon's Deal of the Day, so there you have it. The one I got is The Grass is Blue, which isn't even new, I just noticed, but still, it's fantastic. Don't look at the album cover, because that's hideous.

  3. U2 No Line of the Horizon. Meh. I've listened to two songs and then moved on. One of these days.

  4. india.arie's newest. Good, not crazy terrific or anything. Although I haven't had a really solid listen yet.

  5. Mieka Pauley. Elijah Drop Your Gun. I got this when it was free and whoa is she good. Like an updated Fiona Apple.

  6. Classical guitar, various artists, three dollars, perfect for classtime.

  7. Random, random, random electronica from 3hive. Barzin, Mojib, and Hasch'm'Meneum. I haven't actually listened to more than a sample of each of these, but they are on their way to getting burnt so I can give 'em a go in the car. That is where I do my best consuming.

  8. Daft Punk's Greatest Hits. Also two dollars on amazon one day. I found it the week after one of my students did a powerpoint presentation on them.

  9. Let's not forget the two BOCA albums I bought last night at ICCA semifinals, AMAZING. The story was that on Friday afternoon, I was nonchalantly fucking around on the internet, what a surprise, and I looked up my old friends the DOTs, and then clicked some links, and discovered that the Big Concert was happening in twenty-four hours, a mere two miles from my house. Fate. I bought tickets and invited Choir Rebecca. It was a great concert. Guys who can sing on key-- nay, guys who CHOOSE TO SPEND THEIR FREE TIME SINGING (and who can also execute humorous choreography simultaneously) are sexy. I should add that to the list.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Friday, March 27, 2009

the most tiring Friday ever

Some things I have been up to today include browsing the internets for mp3s of my new favorite artist, Juana Molina. Go download all her free songs right now, because she is that awesome.

Also I went to a very fun Shabbat dinner with my brother and we cooked a unique rice dish. I mean, we found a neat recipe but then substituted both the main ingredient and secondary ingredient and then added a third ingredient, and since the dish only had four ingredients to begin with, I guess you could say we MADE IT UP. (Rice, dried cherries, chopped mint, honey, and orange zest since you asked so nicely.)

But before all of that, I had a busy, BUSY school day because two of the four teachers were home with strep throat. Two of four is HALF. Two teachers, seventy-five hormonal sixth-graders. Plus we had a field trip scheduled. We held an impromptu town meeting, split the kids in half for three periods, and then went to LACMA with the help of some very generous parents. After LACMA, we were so wiped that we just showed them a really boring video about the fall of the Roman Empire and I believe several kids may have fallen asleep. More power to them.

Do I even need to mention that every fifteen minutes I swallowed very consciously and tried to detect the presence of streptococcus bacterium. And that when I arrived at work in the morning, I Clorox Wiped every single door handle and light switch.

So far, so good.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

this shit is hilarious

2:55 p.m. - I'm back. Barbara Cargill is talking. She is saying once again, as she often does, that she has a science degree, she has taught science, and she wants the best science taught in Texas public schools. Then without a breath she said, "and that's why we want the strengths and weaknesses of evolution taught." The current speaker, whom I came in upon, was in favor of that, too. Their argument is that presenting more information to students rather than less is good for education. They neglect to say that presenting false information to students is a pretty bad and uneducational policy.

--(Ibid)

oh, Christian Fundamentalists, you are so FUNNY!!!

Juli Berwald is a freelance writer for a science textbook publisher. She testified that she knows of no weaknesses for the theory of evolution. This statement brought forth a loud outburst from the many Creationists in the hearing room. McLroy brought down the gavel and threatened to clear the entire room if this happens again.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

new list of things that are hot

  1. Gmail and all other google-related interests which includes love of the internet.
  2. Frequenting G-chat, which is separate from the above, but which can be substituted for texting, or simply returning phone calls. All three, preferably.
  3. Being a Mac-junkie.
  4. Ability to cook (or at least have food in your fridge).
  5. Thirst for knowledge.
  6. Exercise routine or some form of physical activity.
  7. Ability to express feelings.
  8. Some level of dorkiness, ie: Love of nature shows, computer programming skills, intense attention to politics, knowledge of food chemistry, etc.
  9. Gainful employment.
  10. Abs.

imagined conversation

What's your favorite chord?

Suspended second. You?

Gsus4. Favorite cheese?

English cheddar with carmelized onions.

Goat chevre.

Let's watch Planet Earth.

OK.

Monday, March 23, 2009

psychosomatic

Yesterday was the first day since February thirteenth that I did not have a single heart palpitation. I spent the day with Haley at my second home, eating junk food, watching Gossip Girl, and playing with a two-year-old.

Friday, March 20, 2009

I am waiting for the heart palpitations to stop

"If you have something physically wrong with you and you look back at what has been happening up to six months prior, you will probably find a connection as illnesses or accidents often come at times of change, such as moving home, a new marriage or getting a different job. The uncertainty and fear can easily upset your balance, and can leave you open to bacteria and viruses. At the same time, becoming ill gives you time to rest and adjust to the changes. It also puts things in to perspective, such as the importance of your health and relationships."


--Huffington Post

sad but truth

"Sometimes, you're more alone in an unhappy relationship than you really ever are without a relationship at all."

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

it's broken

Well, it happened, we ended things, after three months or two years, depending on who you ask...

I gave it a good try, enough to believe that I won't want to try again. We both did, actually, I can't fault him for anything, but we just want different things. He would be happy cruising for a long while, which we were doing, so although that was kind of nice, it was also kind of unsatisfying. This is my first mutual, bittersweet break-up.

I've booked the upcoming weeks with hiking dates and Habitat for Humanity and weekend trips to Haley's for junk food and crap TV. I'm planning a trip to San Francisco and beginning to think about the summer.

He thinks I'll have a new boyfriend within the month. I don't think so, but I'm willing to take that bet.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

biblionesia pt II

The previous post was inspired by a few incidences recently that made me realize I have horrible recall skills when it comes to fiction. Like, I can't remember ANYTHING about books I have read, other than whether I loved or hated them.

One of my favorite books in the world is Peace Like a River. I read it three years ago, while in Peru. I was enthralled with it. I forced Wade to listen to passages I found "inspiring." I cherished it, but lost my copy somewhere. A few weeks ago, I spotted it in the dollar bookstore and snatched it up.

Some days later, I was creating a powerpoint book report as an example for my students and wanted to use Peace Like a River, only I couldn't remember a damn thing about it! I'm not talking detailed plot points; I couldn't even recall whether there were one or two main characters and whether they were kids or adults or boys or girls. So I felt retarded for while, and then chose a Bill Bryson book I've read three times. And heard the audio. (For that one I know the setting, the main characters, and maybe two or three scenes.)

One of my students just finished up To Kill a Mockingbird, which I definitely read and enjoyed and wrote several papers about. She kept asking me about this that and the other thing, but all I could help her on was that the son found some stuff in a hole in the tree. And Boo Radley is scary.

This weekend I had dinner with Wade after three long years of silence. I mentioned that I was reading this book, Peace Like a River, and I showed him the cover. He immediately recognized it and enthused, "Oh! That's the one from Minnesota! With the kid, and the horse, and the missing brother... Oh, Deens, you loved that book." And I swear, he rattled off seven more pieces of the plot as I stared at him blankly, his words just barely ringing a bell.

We are doing affixes now in class, and I have just named my affliction, "biblionesia."

biblionesia

Books I've read and absolutely loved and what I remember about them:
(like seriously, this is ALL I can recall)

The Great Gatsby
  • set during the Depression
  • the green light
  • Egg-something-town
  • there is a party
  • there is at least a man and woman as main characters, maybe more
  • the first line, "In my younger and more vulnerable years, my father gave me some advice which I've been turning over in my mind ever since."
What Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day
  • the main character is black, but I can't remember if it's a girl or boy
  • a line in the book, "What looks like crazy on an ordinary day looks like love in the moonlight."
The Color of Water
  • one of the characters might be black?
  • there is a mother and a son
Are You There God, it's Me, Margaret
  • best friend Gretchen
  • they are twelve going on thirteen
  • I must increase my bust
  • her hair isn't perfect
  • crush on Moose, who mows the lawn in the final scene when Margaret finally gets her period
I'm a Stranger Here Myself
  • he writes about America after living in Britain
  • American soft drinks are better or bigger than the Brittish
Life of Pi
  • there is a boy, and a zoo, and a boat, and a tiger
  • they are shipwrecked
  • the ending is horrible (though I couldn't say why)

Monday, March 02, 2009

things I need to do for me

  1. Continue running. Possibly (*gasp*) join a gym.
  2. Volunteer. SOVA?
  3. Cooking class? Garage Band class? Intro to Spanish?
  4. Visit Haley
  5. Visit brother Aaron in SF
  6. Start looking at humanitarian trip for summer
  7. Finish photo albums
  8. Read novels
  9. More hiking with Naomi
  10. Buy and read Actual Air by David Berman
  11. Give endless thanks to B Mc for making me excited to read and write again
Too much life for one day.

Sunday, March 01, 2009

therapy practice

What if we were having sex for several months and I never said what I liked or didn't like? What if I never talked about sex at all? What if, when you asked me what I like, I protested and complained and refused to tell you?

Do you think about me when I'm not with you? I can't tell. I have no idea. I send you text messages, emails, but I rarely, if ever, get a reply. Do you get them? Do you ever look at what I've sent you? Do you get them and go on to the next message and forget about mine? Do you think about what I wrote you? Do you delete them? I don't buy that it's that you don't like email or you don't "do" texting, because if that was really the case, you could pick up the phone and call me about what I wrote. Or bring it up later, when we're together. It's frustrating because it often makes me feel like I'm in this relationship by myself. Like a conversation with a wall.

We don't have long, drawn out phone conversations in which we rehash every detail of our day. That's fine, maybe we're not great on the phone. Or maybe you DO want that and I have no idea. I feel like I want and need to talk to you every day, to check in. To see what you're doing. I don't want you to feel obligated to call me every day, I want you to WANT to call me. Like you've actually been curious about what I've been doing or thinking or feeling. When I don't hear from you in a long while (over a day), it becomes evident that you don't feel like you need to connect with me very often.

That's when I get anxious -- when I realize that you don't need me the same way I need you. Or you don't want me the same way I want you. I want to be a team, an "us," a best friend.

It feels like we live very separate lives, and maybe that is healthy to some extent but I feel like we are not in it together enough. It bothers me that I often have no idea what you've done over the weekend or what you have planned for the next week. It bothers me that you don't talk about the future and we don't make plans for more than a few days in advance. Maybe some of it is me, that I haven't done some of these things either, but if so then it's because I worry you won't do the same in return.