Monday, January 30, 2006

food pyramiddle finger

Disregarding completely losanjealous's advice that I exit Trader Joes with only a bag or two, today I went crazy and bought every single junk food that appealed to me. In order to create balanced meals for the week. Because. I am healthy. To wit, a list of said purchases as compared to the food pyramind:

Starches? Check! Vanilla almond granola, sesame and ginger potato chips, chocolate covered pretzels, chocolate chip cookies, Tasty Little Crackers honey sesame, Tasty Little Crackers 7 grain, organic corn tortilla chips, Thai vegie noodle soup dish.

Fruit? More than enough!! Kids apple juice, oranges, strawberry jelly, Trail Mix granola bars with dried cherries.

Vegies? Vegies are for pussies!

Beans / Nuts / Proteins? Hell Yeah! Maple pecan granola, chocolate covered sunflower seeds, eggs, soy milk, peanut butter with honey (genius).

Dairy? Fruity and more fruity yogurt.

Fats / Oils / Sweets / Calcium, Vitamins B12 and D? Which, by the way, the FDA recommends we eat "sparingly and supplementally?" NOTHING.



Good job self, good job.
(Although I did hide many of the above items so that Miriam won't yell at me.)

Sunday, January 29, 2006

what's in a name, pt 2

It's really weird when my students call me “Ms." and use my last name. It sounds so foreign! In my elementary school, we called all teachers and administrators by their first names. At the school I worked for the past two years, we also used first names. This created a certain relationship between students and teachers. There was a degree of closeness, almost like that of siblings. There was never a problem of authority because we were using first names. It was always clear that the teacher was in charge.

Now, when my students use the formal designation, it feels strange and unfriendly. I can’t help but sense a great distance between myself and the students when they can’t even refer to me by my real name. The only other people who address me as such are medical or business professionals, with whom I don’t even have an acquaintance. I know that we use this formal title as a sign of respect and authority, but I can’t help think of it as a barrier to closeness.

I wonder about the use of names in relation to social justice. One of the key themes that keeps popping up in the equality debate is the elimination of the us-them dichotomy. We do home visits and ethnographic research to know where our students are coming from. We discuss culture and heritage in the classroom so that our students will appreciate their history. We do everything we can to not let our white, middle-class, college-educated privilege blind us from educating our students.

Yet, every time I addressed, “Ms.,” I am reminded that I am in a position of power and privilege. Every time I hear my last name, I am reminded not to get too close to my students. Doesn’t the title get in the way?

what's your sign?

"The Snake is one of the 12 animals which appear in the 12-year cycle of the Chinese zodiac related to the Chinese calendar. According to Chinese folklore, each animal is associated with certain personality traits, and those born in the year of the Snake are calm and gentle, romantic and perceptive. However, they may be prone to sloth and vanity."

haha, this fits my little brother to a T!

Saturday, January 28, 2006

four-peat x 2

I JUST WITNESSED X GAMES HISTORY!!!!

SHAUN WHITE WINS HIS FOURTH GOLD MEDAL IN MEN'S SLOPESTYLE!!!!

THE FOUR-PEAT CURSE HAS OFFICIALLY BEEN LIFTED!!!!

four-peat!!!

The Olympics are coming! The Olympics are coming!!!!

Every two years I immerse myself in the international world of sports competition. I watch any event I can. I read the newspaper's special insert section daily. I check online. I love the hype and the nationalism and the costumes and the bad rivalries. I become obsessed.

Now I have discovered the X Games, Olympics' younger and better-looking rebelious brother. I knew he was the one when I got to witness Janna Mayan's first ever four-peat gold medal in women's slopestyle. EXCITEMENT!!! (Makes it worth it that I woke up at eight thirty this morning.)

super astelin the nasal spray

This is what allergies feel like:

My nose will be clear but there is a little itch nudging me in the back of my brain. Gradually the itch gets stronger and stronger, until I have to wipe my nose. Then there is the congestion-slash-drippiness. Several tissues later, my nose is still running, and -- wait, there's that itch again. It's getting stronger and stronger, and I think I'm going to sneeze. Sneezing will be a relief. Stronger, stronger, ok, here it comes . . . . . no wait . . . . oh it went away. Shame. Sad. Oh!!! The ITCH!!! I'm about to ---- crap. If only I could sneeze, I could expell whatever is itching. I guess I'll wipe my nose several more times. Oh. Itch. Here is comes. Not that I should be hoping anymore. Ah....Oh.... ATCHOO.

Nice. Thank goodness. Oh crap, now there is a weird sensation in the back of my throat...like pins and needles. Pins and needles all down the inside of my mouth. At first it is a light sensation, then it gets harder and harder, and the pins and needles turn in to tiny fingers tickling my throat. I try to scratch, running my tongue up and down and up and down, but it's not very satisfying. Up and down and up and down.

I have to sneeze again. We do the dance, I wait, I look up, I cover my mouth, I sigh in disappointment, I wait two more minutes, and finally sneeze. We repeat the pins and needles sensation. My ears start itching, way inside, farther than I can reach with my finger or a Q tip. I try to smush my earlobe into my head, and that works for a second.

------------------------

And then, Holy Jesus, I woke up this morning with NO ALLERGY SYMPTOMS. This is truly a miracle. A miracle called Astelin. I'm willing to worship Astelin even though it comes with two annoying side effects. One is a disgusting bitter taste that creeps into my throat several minutes to several hours after the initial sniff. Two is the surprisingly debilitating drowsiness that overtook me last night. I thought first that I was just tired after a long week, but realized I couldn't even focus on Miriam's face while we were talking. I fell into a deep sleep while watching Waking Ned Divine, one of my favorite movies. I never fall asleep during movies.

The thing is, I'm willing to suffer bad taste and somnolence (that's the official word for "tired") because I can medicate with candy and naps. And more importantly, the allergies are gone. Gone. GONE!!

Friday, January 27, 2006

spelling bee

C - A - M - O - F - L - A - U - G - E

C - A - M - O - F - L - A - G - U - E

C - A - M - O - U - F - L - A - U - G - E

C - A - M - O - F - L - O - U - G - U - E

C - A - M - O - U - P - H - L - A - G - E

C - A - M - A - U - F - L - A - G - E

C - A - M - O - U - F - L - O - U - G - E



This is a second grade spelling word in my classroom. These were the guesses of my twenty-four year-old roommates. I shouldn't gloat, because last week my guiding teacher and I scribbled the same sort of list in the classroom before making flashcards.

CAMOUFLAGE.
C - A - M - O - U - F - L - A - G - E
camouflage.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

sick boy

When I got to Jeremy's this evening, loaded with honey and lemons and nyquil and chocolate, he was all curled on the couch wrapped in a blanket, with a sweatshirt and hood on, with the heat blazing, a painful expression on his face, and a ponytail.

He has taken to wearing a ponytail, although not in the traditional sense. He needs a haircut, and meanwhile his "bangs" are all over his forehead and eyebrows if he doesn't gel it up, so he stole one of my hair-ties and ponytailed the front part into a tiny sticking up palm tree.

It cannot be possible to adore someone as much as I do him.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

judd is a damn good man!

This is my friend Judd, on new years, with his nose taped to his forehead:


kids these days...

On Friday, my guiding teacher administered the weekly spelling test. The first word was "crunched." One child spelled "cunt."

This was two days after a parent sent in a note, angry that her child had found the letters "f" "u" "k" "e" "d" strung together on a homework word search. The teacher had to ask, why does her second grader know that word?

Sigh. They grow up so fast.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

dynariffic

"Well, I don't really watch movies, but I do like raw vegetables."
--Eva, taking part in a Favorite Napolean Dynamite Quote icebreaker.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Sharkey the Impaler, pt 2

Today on KROQ I heard Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey, Minnesota gubernatorial candidate, explain his direct descension from Vlad the Impaler.

"I'm the talk of Romania," he said with a misplaced sense of achievement, apparently unaware that the country no longer exists.

Monday, January 16, 2006

an email correspondence that should have been conducted through AIM

Me: I keep forgetting to tell you. You left your jacket here. It's waiting patiently for you on my chair. It's made friends with my gray hoodie and black skirt. They are all playing beautifully.

Jerm: it's nice to hear. he was having trouble making friends. i keep on bringing him places, but he's just so damn shy that I had to take drastic measures. I confess...I left him there on purpose to make friends. It was the only way. I have to admit, I cried when I left. These tears that are running down my cheek now, though, are tears of utter joy.

Me: Does he like chips and salsa? Because we have a lot left over from the party, and I thought, maybe, you know, he wanted a snack. Or something.

J: in fact he loves chips and salsa. I actually adopted him in mexico. he loves spicy stuff. just so you know (i dont know how much experience you have with feeding jackets) he eats through the inside left pocket. oh, and he likes it when you wear him. makes him feel useful.

Me: will do. thanks for letting me know. I will make sure he is fed and cared for. And walked.

Letter I left in the pocket of his coat:
"Dear Jerm,
Please thank * on my behalf for all of her care and hospitality while I was stationed on her chair. She fed and walked me daily, and gave me an excellent massage. I will miss her and her skirt dearly.
Love, Your Coat."

kiss kiss kiss

I just had Hershey's limited run Cherry Hershey's Kiss Cordial, and that was the BEST thing I have tasted!!!! I checked around on the Hershey's website, and they make no mention of these delicious new treats. BUT. There is a website where you can add your name to the "Keep Cherry Kisses" petition, and you can bet that I clicked away without hesitation. (Using a fake email, of course.)

Keep Cheery Kisses!!!

Friday, January 13, 2006

vote today!

From the same state that elected Jesse "The Body" Ventura comes another terrifyingly questionable gubernatorial candidate. Let me introduce to you:

Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey

We are already painfully aware that Minnesotans have the UGLIEST accent in the continental forty-eight. Honestly, it hurts sometimes. And I should know. My mother was born and bred in the Land of Ten Thousand Lakes but was lucky to leave right after high school and lose her accent. MOSTLY. She still says things like, "ruf" when referring to the top of a building. Her aunt, on the other hand, who never left, pronounces "bag" like "baig" and sometimes "beg." Frances McDormand may have been cute with her "Dontcha Know," but "shopping baig" is NOT CUTE. Especially when every sentence is uttered SLOWLY and through teeth that are aproximately one millimeter apart. Minnesotans are notorious for speaking without opening their mouths.

So now this guy Sharky is running for governor. He has a splendid webpage with full-color pictures of himself dressed, top-bottom as:
  • a serious business man
  • the Impaler (pictured here)
  • Rocky-Flash (zebra print briefs posed in front of the American flag)
  • the Impaler (a classy head shot)
  • sensitive guy (with some lady labeled "Julie")

Here are some of my favorite quotes from his page. which you can find HERE:

"I am a Satanic Dark Priest, Sanguinarian Vampyre and a Hecate Witch.
My Magikal Path name is: Lord Ares."

"I despise and hate the Christian God the Father. He is my enemy....The 1st Amendment ... allows me to worship Lucifer and the Goddess Hecate, just as it allows you to worship the Goddess/God of your choice."

"Unfortunately due to circumstances beyond my control, I have not yet made my NASCAR racing debut. However, it is my plan to do so during the 2006 racing season."

"Any Terrorist who is caught in Minnesota while I am governor, will find out what the true meaning of my nickname "The Impaler" means."


I couldn't make this shit up.


I heart Dormitory Boys

What's better than college boys lipsynching BoyBand songs while their roomates in the background play video games? NOTHING.

THE CHINESE DORMITORY BOYS ARE BACK!!!!!!!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

purpose of edu

"Our school system was great for the nineteenth and twentieth centuries, when the United States was an industrialized country. Now our country is all about global telecommunications and biotechnology, which is not at all addressed in the classrooms. We need to teach how to find five solutions to a problem and assess which is the most elegant, the cheapest, the most likely to be popular."

--Assemblymember Jackie Goldberg in December at my finals panel

"complicated dance"

I also love this description of an echo cardiogram from mayohealth:

"The same technology that allows you to watch a fetus turn somersaults in the womb also can reveal the complicated dance that is your heart in motion."

It almost makes me want to get one...

springy!

Oooh!! A new header, for the new year. Do you like how I steal from great and established artists to create my own page? The last header was Frank Sorbier, this is Lawrence Alma Tadema. His best piece, Spring, is hanging in the Getty, possibly the only good painting there.

Bye bye, feathers!

Sunday, January 08, 2006

in love, in love, in love

Sometimes I open his emails and they make me smile, so I sit there and read them over and over and over again. And then pretty soon I realize that I've been gazing at my monitor for fifteen minutes without a thought in my head other than, "Omigod, he's awesome."

Monday, January 02, 2006

happy new year

I am really glad to start the year off supremely happy with my life.

  • Fantastic roommates
  • Fabulous apartment (WITH NO LOUD NEIGHBORS UPSTAIRS!!!)
  • Grad program that I enjoy and which makes me feel very capable
  • Awesome best friend in program who shares my sense of humor, even if she doesn't know what is going on half the time
  • The Best Boyfriend Ever who has collected chocolate in his freezer JUST FOR ME

the year 2005

Last year started shitty but got better and better

massive rain and flooding - must tow Miriam’s car out of parking spot
home alone for several weeks while girls are out of town
writing UCLA personal essay
depression
Haley’s baby shower
Liz and Dale wedding shower in San Diego
Eileen meeting about Julie
first Shabbat dinner at our apt
Haley has baby Charlie!!! Visit at Cedars
UCLA group interview
bocci in the park with Naomi, Ezra, Irvine kids
CSET
Bounce-Out video game with Naomi
LA Fitness
Gian Carlo - Santa Monica pier, Getty, CPK, kissing in parking lot, showing up at TIOH, Sideways
Shabbat at Gwen’s
Vanessa’s bday at World Café, SaMo
Superbowl at Kim’s
gold spray-paint trash project
field trip to Chevron and Hyperion Plants
CBEST
Arrested Development with Ezra
The Apprentice with Naomi, Ezra
sinus infection and urgent care
Sierra’s zombie movie premier
LOUD Israeli neighbors move in upstairs
Science Center BodyWorld with Sierra
shopping with Ariel and tell-all and Sideways
Doughboys with Abbey’s parents
Ashrei quilt
Sushi Shabbat with Naomi A
Glenda runs the LA marathon
Boba with Naomi and Brigitte
IHOP brunch to discuss Road Rascals
dance battle at Lincoln middle school
20-something group at TIOH
Gwen’s baby bris
Liz & Dale wedding
Road Rascals meeting at the Conway’s house and American Idol in HDTV
Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy with Miriam and Abbey
KidBid lasagna dinner at my apt
Glenda’s bday party
Moby release party at W with Sierra
art field trip to Peterson - found porn
Costco with Benja
brunches with Tova
watching The OC with Glenda, Ezra, Naomi
Road Rascals RV trip to Seattle, Vancouver, Victoria
Brigitte bday at Level One
talking to Ronen again
going out to clubs with Benja
visit Nicole in Laguna
visit Haley at her new house in Fullerton
plans with Jeremy for coffee and Pesach meal
Bartending certificate
Barbara H shiva
meeting with Abbey’s maybe nanny family in BevHills
Bat Mitzvah tutoring Olivia and Zoe B
Ariel’s bday Jackie Chan movie
Big Sunday at Hyde Park Elementary
Abbey leaves for Israel all summer
Gala wedding shower and rumballs
Nicole sublets!!!!!!!!
Sacramento field trip
Danielle G bday at Citywalk
going upstairs for Shabbat dinner/dessert
Sascha BBQ with Nicole, Crash movie with crazy Shimon
Brigitte BBQ and pool party
tutor Sam and Molly M in the Palisades
tutor Jason M
family Shabbat dinner with gay colleagues
Angel Chorus concert with Misha and Esther B
maybe Costa Rica with Sierra
Ethiopian food with Naomi
Venice Beach and rollerblading with Sierra
crafts with Glenda at the Tehrani’s cool house
The OC with Glenda and brother Darren
painting room blue with Glenda, Naomi Abelson, Bailey
garage sale-ing with Miriam - buy chest and chaise lounge
subbing Camp Simcha with Ariel - Runyan Canyon, fire station, tie-dye
Sierra’s crazy play
Alyssa sublets, clubbing
July 4th Drop-In at Roxbury Park with Nicole
Pool at Qs with Nicole, Scott, Melinda, Spooner
tutor Sarah S in Venice
tutor Andie in Mar Vista
Planned Parenthood and green health card
TukTuk dinner with Wade, Alyssa PJ party, hot-tub with Wade
Visitor’s Day at Ramah
health information and immunizations
party at Nicole and Spooners
Yom Meyuchad at Ramah with Nicole and Laurie
Cabana Club with Benja and Alyssa
tutor Jason K
Rosa’s goodbye party at Falcon Club
cover couch in blue velvet
Jack & Jills brunch with Hayley L
Beliak takes me on an ambush date
UCLA paperwork and fingerprints
camping at Leo Carillo with mom and Esther B
Wedding Crashers with Hillary on her day off
King Tut at LACMA
Mammoth with Jew Crew and stay in Lanz’s cabin
bowling with Aaron and girlfriend Rachel
tutor Jackson and all his amphibious pets
PERU with Wade
Mercer Bnei Mitzvah at WBT
switch kitchen to Kosher
UCLA orientation, Inner City Arts
awful visit to Wade in Irvine
B girls' Bat Mitzvah at Camp Hess Kramer
big party at our house
brunch at Sheila’s house
Lost with Jew Crew
carpooling with Sasha
MOCA Basquiat with Jerm
Melinda’s Avon party
Yom Kippur and Kol Nidre with daddy
breakfast at Betty’s, Rebecca’s
Emily bday at Cathy’s
Sierra’s martini bday in West Hollywood
Shabbat Club
Squid and the Whale with Jerm, The Office, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Yoga Booty Ballet with Sasha
Zach and Shoshana Simchat Torah party
Halloween in West Hollywood with Melinda and Abbey, Hayley’s party
my birthday dinner with Shabbat Club
my birthday clubbing at Carbon
my birthday family lunch at Natalie Thai
making brownies and cookies and cake and goodies for birthdays with Sasha
Fake Thanksgiving with family and Abbey and Rachel
Muliticultural Day at TIOH
southern comfort Shabbat Club
Tova bday at the Mor Bar and J
Prey with Abbey, Miriam, her brother
Jerm bday at World Café
Chevrei Ramah meetings
UCLA Awaken a capella concert
Jerm, J, J
La Noche de Expresion at Eva’s, laundry with Jerm
Memoirs of a Geisha with Miriam at the ArcLight
Knitting Factory with Jerm and all the Milken people
Brokeback Mountain with Mummy
IKAR with Melinda, Ezra’s bday and meeting The Others
Crafting with Tova - mini magnets
Haley Christmas party
Metro day with Naomi and Mag - Olvera St, Cathedral, Old Town Pas, Chinatown
Rachel S in-laws Hannukah party
New Years Thai dinner with Jerm, Judd, Tova, party at Margaret’s