I heart books

THE BEST THING EVER HAPPENED TODAY!!!!

You know I love Roald Dahl. You know I do. You know I own every single children's book he's ever written, and have read at least half of them to my students. They know these books are my prized possessions and so they have become their prized possessions too, passed around the class and devoured like illicit porn.

About a month ago, a teacher partner suggested I read The BFG to my class. I can't say it was ever one of my favorites, but that might be because I don't like the picture on the cover. I'm super judgy. This teacher was halfway through the book with her own third grade class, and she claimed they loved it. So, I started it as our post-spring break book.

THEY LOVE IT.

Obviously. It is about giants eating children.

Usually I read aloud to my class for ten to fifteen minutes every day after lunch. I turn off all the lights, and the kids are allowed to put their heads down on their desks but they may not do anything other than listen. I stop and start and ask questions and we make predictions and such, but fifteen minutes is usually the limit for listening. That's when the pencil tapping begins and the notes start being written and I add to my collection of confiscated markers / lanyards / hot wheels / eraser carvings.

Two weeks ago, this partner teacher informed me that she had a class set of The BFG, which means each child could have his/her own copy of the book to follow along with. What a gift! What a difference it has made! Today, my students were engaged in the storytelling for THIRTY MINUTES. That's a long time for nine year-olds. Plus, they were way into the discussion of Will the Queen Believe Her Dream About Sophie and the Giants. AND, they totally complained when I decided it was time to quit.

THEN, (this is the best part), partner teacher and I were lamenting the fact that this is the only class set of books she has and neither of us wants to purchase more and what will I do when I finish it? Fucking Open Court?! On a whim, I call the program coordinator at our school, really the only person there who gets things done, and I inquire about class sets of chapter books, the stuff they used to teach English with before wretched NCLB.

APPARENTLY THERE IS A WHOLE CLOSET FULL OF SETS OF CHAPTER BOOKS THAT I CAN USE WITH MY CLASS!!!!!!!!! WE WILL BE LOOTING THE CLOSET TOMORROW AFTER STAFF MEETING!!!!!! CHAPTER BOOKS FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR!!! I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER BEEN SO EXCITED ABOUT TEACHING READING!!!!! I DROVE HOME ELATED!

I don't even care what books they have; anything is better than "Home Place."

I did not get a lot of sleep this weekend and so have been a raging bitch for two days straight.  Several of my students sneezed all day long, and what do you know, as soon as I pulled into my driveway I developed a full-blown cold.  Fuckers.

favorite quote from this weekend and no I am not going to explain it

"THIS? is not gross. I have licked your asshole clean, and LOVED it."

nclb sucks part ten

We start testing May twelfth. Everybody at school is going crazy. I got this in an email and it is sad how close it is to reality. If the principal read this at a faculty meeting, no one would blink an eye.


Severe Weather Testing Protocols

1. Should a severe weather situation occur during testing, please remain calm. To display any kind of anxiety would be a testing irregularity and must be reported.
2. Please do not look out the window to watch for approaching tornadoes. You must monitor the students at all times. To do otherwise would be a testing irregularity and must be reported.
3. Should students notice an approaching tornado and begin to cry, please make every effort to protect their testing materials from the flow of tears and sinus drainage.
4. Should a flying object come through your window during testing, please make every effort to ensure that it does not land on a testing booklet or an answer sheet. Please make sure to soften the landing of the flying object so that it will not disturb the students while testing.
5. Should shards of glass from a broken window come flying into the room, have the students use their bodies to shield their testing materials so that they will not be damaged. Have plenty of gauze on hand to ensure that no one accidentally bleeds on the answer documents. Damaged answer sheets will not scan properly.
6. Should gale force winds ensue, please have everyone stuff their test booklets and answer sheets into their shirts, being very careful not to bend them because bent answer documents will not scan properly.
7. If any student gets sucked into the vortex of the funnel cloud, please make sure they mark at least one answer before departing and of course make sure they leave their answer sheets and test booklets behind. You will have to account for those.
8. Should a funnel cloud pick you, the test administrator, up and take you flying over the rainbow, you will still be required to account for all of your testing materials when you land so please take extra precautions. Remember, once you have checked them out, they should never leave your hands.
9. When rescue workers arrive to dig you out of the rubble, please make sure that they do not, at any time, look at or handle the testing materials. Once you have been treated for your injuries, you will still be responsible for checking your materials back in. Search dogs will not be allowed to sift through the rubble for lost tests unless of course they have been through standardized test training.

first week of April

A million and one things have happened to me in the past two days.

First, on Friday, I was observed giving a writing lesson about revising for tense. I did a damn good job, and I thought my students were totally engaged and understood the task. In reviewing the lesson, my adviser told me (with mild surprise), "You're a really good teacher!" *Blush* It is not often that anyone tells me I'm doing a good job.

Ten minutes later, I had a phone conference with the mother of a student who just joined our class last week. The mom remarked that her daughter seemed really happy, and had told her that our class "is like a little family." THANK THE LORD I AM DOING SOMETHING RIGHT.

I have a strange backwards eye infection. For a few days now, I've been waking up with dry, red eyes. When I put in my contacts, the redness goes away and my eyes feel normal. Late in the evening, the irritation returns and gets even worse when I take out the contacts to go to sleep. My eye doctor has no idea what the problem is. (It is not pink eye; That was my first suspicion.)

Last night I slept over at the boy's house on his new bed and *sigh* it was lovely. Sleeping in your own bed all spread out like a starfish is nice, but so is curling up next to a big warm body that hugs you all night long.

Tonight my choir finished recording our album. It has been a LABOR OF LOVE. Since January, it's been choir this and choir that. Choir has somewhat cramped my social life, but you know what? I really enjoy myself while I'm there, and I've even made some good friends.

Like Lynn. Lynn is my doppelganger. Lynn is high energy, super sarcastic, and has no problem being silly with perfect strangers. Lynn is the one who dressed up as a chambermaid to our Tour of Hope dinner. Lynn read my palm tonight and discerned that I:
a) don't take good care of myself
b) am super creative and think of outside-the-box solutions
On both counts, she is absolutely correct.

Today's recording was particularly draining because my voice is shot from teaching (see above) and I didn't get that much sleep last night (see above) and my eye was bothering me (see above). Luckily, we were doing "Louisiana, 1927," which might be my favorite song this season. The music is gentle, the message heartbreaking, and the arrangement beautiful. In the middle of the fifth take I was overcome with emotion and started crying. I tried to suck it up and sing, but my voice was all wobbily and it made the tears come faster. After the sixth take I was a mess with blotchy eyes and runny nose and shaking with sobs. My second soprano mates took care of me, and I suffered only mild embarrassment.

Today and yesterday I had the chance to FINALLY wash my dishes and take out the trash from the past four weeks. I know that sounds absolutely disgusting, but keep in mind that there was no food on the dishes (I rinse every bowl before setting it in the shallow side of the sink, and the trash bags were tied up and shut in a cabinet. I just honestly haven't had any free time to walk thirty steps to the dumpster.

crazy busy

Crazy busy. Report cards, parent conferences, and tutoring at school. Shot a commercial with the choir out in the desert. Next weekend, final recording for our album. Finalizing new job for next year. Car needs a lube job, dishes piling in the sink, laundry basket overflowing, running low on toilet paper. Haven't even LOOKED at my W-2 yet.