the awful bus ride

THE BUS RIDE IS AWFUL.

After the first hour, I need to go pee. I walk to the back of the bus, but cannot open the door. I return to my seat, thinking I can wait a bit until the person comes out. Half and hour later, after no one has emerged, I make Wade come with me to pry open the door. It is definitely locked. We go back to our seats. Another half hour passes, and the pee urge is so strong that I can't go to sleep. We walk to the front of the bus to ask the busdriver about the locked bathroom. He claims it is open. We argue. He says the bathroom stop is in five minutes. We return to our seats. I have to go so bad, but what can I do?

FIFTY MINUTES LATER, we finally pull over to the side of the road, in some shanty town in the middle of nowhere, next to a small shack. I RUN behind the shack and pee. It is delicious. When I get back onto the bus, the driver shows us that the bathroom door is open. I think he is a lier, I think he unlocked it just then. No matter, I was finally able to fall asleep.

We twist and turn and flop all over each other, trying to find a mutually comfortable positionfor the night. I drift in and out of sleep. Hours later, I awake and realize I am a bit nauseas. I take another Drammanine, but I cannot sit in our seat, in the middle of the bus, in the darkness, for very much longer. I walk up to the front of the bus, where fresh air is wafting in from the driver's compartment. I stand in the aisle, where I can look through his window at the road ahead. I don't normally get carsick, but we have been driving on a twisty highway at high speeds in the dark for hours. Up at the front, actually seeing the road ahead, my stomach is quieted. I watch our driver (the same driver for the whole twelve hour trip) swerve around steep ocean cliffs. I notice his speedometer, which indicates that he is driving TWICE THE SPEED LIMIT. Eventually the drugs kick in, and I fall asleep on the double seats in the second row.

In the morning, when the bus stops, I find Wade again, and we discuss how aweful this bus ride was. For me, it was more the length and the twistyness and the location of our seats. He cannot stop talking about how I had to wait to go to the bathroom for TWO HOURS. He says it like that, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WERE WAITING TO GO THE BATHROOM FOR TWO HOURS. Days later, when we are in Arequipa and even again in Puno, he mentions is again, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU HAD TO WAIT TWO HOURS. Like it was the craziest thing that ever happened. I suppose if a boy had to pee so bad, he would just stick it out the window and go.

We agree that on our next overnight bus, we will treat ourselves to Royal Class, where the seats recline fully and there are two bathrooms.