Lord, please deliver me from my itchy nose and these sneezing attacks I keep getting THEY ARE DRIVING ME NUTS and I've already tried Flonase but apparently I'm allergic, just like I was allergic to my new bathing suits. I have been doing my part in sleeping well -- you should know about that, especially about my fifteen-hour nighter before Yom Kippur. And I've been chugging the vitamin C, and tossing back the Target brand Tums, because MAN those things taste good.
And while I've got a direct line, can we do something about my Literacy class? Could my readings BE any more annoying? Could our assignments BE any more confusing? Could we possibly reflect on ANYTHING after sitting through three hours of warp-speed instruction? The answer is no, and I think you know what you need to do, and that is APPEAR IN A DREAM before teachers Joyce and Sarah and whisper to them in a deep voice, s t o p t h e i n s a n i t y ! ! !
Amen.
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