this is why you go to college

Omigod, I am talking to the world’s worst support person at Amazon. First of all, I have given her my name two times, spelled it out twice very slowly using words, like D AS IN DAVID, and she is still pronouncing it with an extra consonant and syllable. My name is read the same in English and Spanish and French, there is really no reason besides idiotude to mispronounce it the way she is.

Second, I have given her my order number three times, dictated the numbers as well as recited the titles of the three CDs I ordered twenty days ago but still haven’t arrived. I have explained in several different ways that these CDs were supposed to arrive a week ago at the latest, and that Amazon support promised me on Friday that I could call tonight and have them overnighted free of charge, since they have still not shown up. I SPEAK VERY CLEARLY, I AM A TEACHER AND USED TO CHILDREN NOT UNDERSTANDING ENGLISH but Support Person is in a league all her own.

SP has put me on hold five different times to “pull my order from the system,” but has come back on the line each time asking me what my order is. When I asked her why it is taking so long, she put me on hold. When she came back a the fifth time and asked whether I ordered CDs or DVDs, I asked to speak with her supervisor. She told me she couldn’t see her supervisor around, but since I have a brother who works in telephone sales I KNOW there is ALWAYS a supervisor present. Which I told her and demanded to speak with him or her and she put me on hold. Then I asked her name, and she put me on hold again. Just now she came back on and told me that if I wanted to cancel my order I could. PULLING MY HAIR OUT. I said very slowly and loudly, I DON’T WANT TO CANCEL, I WANT MY CDS NOW, and then she asked to put me on hold, and just before I hung up, I got her name.

Jema

Support Person Jema, I don't know what is wrong with you. I called Amazon again today and a nice fellow named Brian fixed my problem in seven minutes. We even had time to chat about my Voodoo Doll plans.