member of the tribe

I was just daydreaming about this boy in my choir, how he's German and his name is Christian, so he's kind of off limits. But what if we were talking and he claimed he was Jewish anyways, and I got to thinking, what is the best way to prove you are Jewish? And I decided that the absolute ultimate is if he suddenly broke out in Adom Olam, the marching band version, complete with hand movements and sound effects.