blarg

I really need to vent and yell and complain and just repeat how annoyed and overwhelmed and frustrated I am, but the sad fact is that I gave out this address to perhaps those same people who bother me. This website started as my own secret space, my own place to vent. But then along the while, I decided also that I liked my friends to read what I wrote. And then I let them find me.

Granted, there are only three people I know who check this, which is not like a grand audience by any means, but what if I want to write about one of those three people? Or what if one person is compounding the problems created by the second person? What if the person you most want to vent to is unreachable, and that makes you want to complain even more, but the second in line has a three-hour time difference and is therefor asleep?

This time it's not the hormones that are raging through me. It must be the tired-from-school, or the possible dead phone battery (this is what I tell myself), or the nonstop chat-chat-chat-chat-chat, or the upcoming roommate search stress, or the not feeling his touch or kiss all weekend, or the lack of money, or the absence of free time, or the neurosis that comes from having to depend on other people. And people are unpredictable.

Blarg. I have that feeling that I might break and cry, but only when the next disappointment arrives.

Why can't I fucking suck it up?