landlords

My landlord, the same worthless ass who I got into a yelling match with about not calling an exterminator when we had a dead rat underneath our living room floor, that same guy just called me up at home to ask me to turn off the neighbor's water heater because it is leaking all over and she is too weak to do it herself. I've seen said neighbor, and she is not too weak to flip the switch, but maybe she is too short, and if she had asked me herself to help her out I would have said no problem, but for the fucking landlord to call me to turn it off for her?!?? What does he think his job is? Collecting rent and thinking of ways to not spend money on his building? When you buy a building and let it out to tenants, you automatically become ON CALL. That means SOLVING PROBLEMS.

It does not mean that when there is a smelly dead rat and your tenants are clearly put out and upset you are allowed to yell back at them and threaten to not renew their lease and then the next day call them up and request that they don knee-high water-proof boots to wade through the laundry room and turn off their neighbor's water. No, it absolutely does not.

I'm just trying to imagine it if last weekend he called up the weak neighbor lady and asked her to take a walk around the apartment, on the lookout for dead and smelly animals. Or maybe she is too weak for that, in which case he would have asked our strapping male neighbor upstairs, Noah, could you maybe take a peek through the grating that leads to the crawlspace under the building, there is a mysterious odor and the girls in number three are too scared to go themselves, could you just?

This is the man I will have to charm and flirt and please to get a new lease this summer.