erotic popsicle

Because of George!, I put my name into the Quiz Universe Sexual Dictionary of Names. I did it many, many times, to make sure the results were accurate. This is what I got:

1. 100% Kinky
2. Aphrodisiac of cucumbers
3. An invisible condom
4. A steamy steamy shower
5. Tasting like strawberries
6. A new position involving a machete
7. An erotic popsicle

I'm still wondering how they managed to get so close to the truth. It's scary -- it's like they KNOW me!!

happy

I am so happy right now. Everything is so good, I don't even mind doing all my homework. My only stresses are finishing the PACT and the uncertainty of when I will be starting teaching next year. (July? September? Who knows!) The roommates worked out, the paint colors are chosen, the weather is getting warmer, the cousins are moving to LA, I'm in love, the parents met, and my friends are awesome.

Chernobyl

This interactive essay about Chernobyl is incredible. The pictures are beautiful; the stories devastating.

put-ups

Today my friend passed me this note in class:

Speaking of put-ups, the other day in my carpool, we were talking about how great of a teacher you are gonna be b/c you are so good @ so much stuff and so creative.
FYI
=)

This means more to me than a good grade in any methods class.

who the hell is this girl and what does she do all day long?

These are just some of the web pages that showed up today in my "history" folder (in alphabetical order):

"10 Facts You Always Wanted to Know about Penises, but Didn't Know you Did"

"7 Outrageous Sex Positions"

"A Masturbation Memoir by Tracey Cox"

"African slave trade - Wikipedia"

"Amazon.com Books: Ashanti to Zulu"

"Amazon.com Books: Mufaro's Beautiful Daughters"

"Choosing the Right Vibrator"

"CNN.com - Texas busting drunks in bars"

"MSN Hotmail - Inbox"

"cotton picker slaves - Google Image Search"

"dooce"

"Evite - Shabbat Club goes Mexicana"

"Follow the Drinking Gourd"

"Four Positions for a Better Orgasm"

"Gmail - Sent Mail"

"Google"

"Inner City Arts: Providing a bridge between the the artistic experience and the development of the whole child"

"Lucy's Spleen"

"The Underground Railroad Site"

"numero uno pizza - Google Search"

"Rediculous.jpg"

"Sex Positions for Every Scenario"

"The Core - Nonduality/Advaita"

"Update 5: Police: Saw Marks Found on Slain Girl"

"Want to Be Unforgettable in Bed?"

"Welcome to Gmail!"

to do in june

1. paint living room olive green (one wall)
   
2. paint dining room yellow (two walls)
   
3. paint kitchen pink (one wall)
4. paint bedroom magenta (one wall, the other walls primed white)
5. paint my "other" apartment
6. buy a new cell phone
7. catch up on all my TV shows I never watched: Sopranos, DeGrassi High, Reno 911 after season one, Arrested Development season two and three, Queer as Folk season five, Six Feet Under, Deadwood, Family Guy, etc.
8. watch "classic" and "great" movies I have also never seen, such as Last of the Mohicans, Braveheart, My Left Foot, Unforgiven, The Color Purple...
   
9. fake tanner
10. eat lots of popsicles
    
11. go to the Hollywood Bowl every other day
12. spend time with my most favorite NPR fan (that's you, baby!)
    
13. take walks
14. balance my checkbook (from January)
15. PLAN AN ENTIRE YEAR'S WORTH OF CURRICULUM (so exciting, seriously, like a wet dream)
16. read the stack of books that has been waiting patiently for me since last June
    

looky-likeys

Thanks, Mindy!! I'm writing straight off my high as being recognized "facially similiar" to Christy Turlington. I'm just going to ignore my second trial which pegged me looking like Danny Kaye.



Try it!

four questions

ME: Did you do the four questions last night?
Four Year Old Arielle: Yeah.
ME: Me too.
FYOA: Really?!!? (Eyes widen in surprise.)
ME: Yeah.
FYOA: (giggles)

ME: Did you stand on your chair?
FYOA: No... did you?!!
ME: Yeah.
FYOA: (Gasps, eyes widen considerably, giggling now out of contol.)

dream sex

Hipster girl #1: ...So now I feel really uncomfortable whenever I'm around him.

Hipster girl #2: Why? 'Cause you had dream sex with him?

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE TIME!!!!!!!

Not all the time with dream sex, I actually haven't had dream sex since I started having real sex on a regular basis, but I've had really personal encounters and conversations with friends and enemies in my sleep and then when I wake up it's either a relief because it was just a dream or an embarrassing shame because WHY WAS I MAKING OUT WITH HIM (or her) LAST NIGHT?!?!???

I remember back in tenth grade, before I'd done anything even remotely close to sex, I had a dream about a guy I had a semi-crush on, and in my dream we were about to have sex but after two seconds someone walked into the dream bedroom and we had to stop. I remember feeling a bit let down that I wasn't going to experience (fake) sex (in my dream), but more vivid was my mortification when I saw him the next day in class. Because it was obvious to me that IT SHOWED.

slutty moms

This is exactly the kind of conversations that I have with my mom, the ones that afterwards I have to recount to every single one of my friends because I'm still in shock, like the time she told me she slept with her best friend's boyfriend while they were on a break and oops! gave him mono:

It’s 93 degrees in Michigan. My sister and I decide to spend the day at the pool; hoping to get rid of tan lines and look our best in our strapless bridesmaid dresses. Since I failed to pack a swimsuit, I raid my mom’s closet and come across one of her fun, skanky bikinis from the seventies. I run down to the kitchen to model my nostalgic find. My mom is making some gigantic twenty-layer taco dip and looks up at me and smiles.
“Oh, I used to love that bikini.”
She grabs a knife and starts dicing baby tomatoes.
“I lost my virginity in that bathing suit.”
She continues dicing tomatoes.

From Mindy Raf, my new favorite person.

social psych?

While attending my debt management session, I found a piece of paper on the floor printed with this:

(1) Sara, please pass this to WILL HOLZER, who is directly behind you, two rows back (behind Karen).

(2) Will, please pass this across the aisle to KRISTEN GERWECK. She is one row in front of you, on the end of the middle section, just across from Nancy.

(3) KRISTEN, please pass this to TIM JACKSON. Tim is in the row behind you, two seats over, next to Janice.

(4) TIM, please pass this to JEREMY JONES. Jeremy usually sits directly behind you, two rows up.

(5) JEREMY, please bring it to me after class.

Many thanks!

hott

Today I went shopping with THE BOY at Urban Outfitters, an extremely overpriced but awesome clothing store. I browsed the girly things while he tried on jeans. When I got bored, I went into the dressing room, calling his name as I walked down the aisle. The salesgirl asked me if I was looking for someone, and I said yes. She asked what he looked like, and what almost seriously came out of my mouth was, "he's hot."