craigslist

Via Couch, I've been perusing the Craigslist Missed Encounters and Personal ads, and boy are they amusing. Here are some of my favorites:

" italian man 6ft 173 p"

(was the entirety of the ad)

"are you sweet and cute? do you want to get eaten and fucked?"

(not really)

"I'M A HANDSOME ILLEGAL ALIEN
INTERESTED??
SEND A PHOTO
POR FAVOR"

(I just love this one)

"Herpes?"

(asking or offering?)


This one takes the cake:

"let's go on a date at the 99 cent store.

this is a great dating place. we will meet near the stale fig newtons and stroll down the aisle past the toothpaste shipped with spanish writing (ultra brite minto). we debate on why there is massive dust on the y2k puzzle box. we see a lady who looks like cloris leachman shoplifting a small box of pink q tips but mums the word, not to mistaken with fisherman's friend (not sold in the store). i decide to spoil you and ask you pick any two items in the store. you select the humungous orange soda and the pokemon earrings. i purchase the products for you and we walk out holding hands as you're aggressively chugging down that 368 ounce orange soda with your other hand.

photo appreciated and i will meet you at any 99 cent store"

(I think I will respond.)