vanessa

I'm totally bent out of shape because one of my students is leaving my class. She's moving to Arizona this weekend and won't be back on Monday. I don't think she knew, because she gave no indication that anything was changing. I found out after school, so I didn't even get to say goodbye. That's awful for a kid -- no closure -- but it's also awful for me. I took a long walk this evening to shake the feeling but just ended up crying.

This isn't the first time a student has left my class. Far from it, actually. Last year, six of my students left mid-year, and so far I've had three leave since September. However, I've never been caught off guard like this, and I certainly haven't been as attached to anyone as I am to this girl.

She's like the best student, and I say that with all sincerity. She's nice to other kids, she's always smiling and asking me questions, she takes pride in her work, she's very self-assured, she comes up behind me at least twice a day and shouts, "Boo!" which would be annoying with anyone else but she giggles EVERY time like it's the funniest thing in the world. And she's smart. I have had not a single problem with her the entire year. Even Naomi and my mother, upon visiting my classroom, noted that she was a great kid. (My mom also said that she reminded her of me.)

I think one of the secret pleasures of being a teacher is that you have your own little fan club. Nineteen children follow me around every day, listen to my stories, ask me about my new shoes, seek my approval for pretty much everything they do ("Look how I put my eraser onto my pencil!"), practically beg for me to listen to their stories about scabs/church/Spongebob/lizards/chicken nuggets. And while they certainly don't obey my every command (far from it), I know that secretly, most of them worship me.

Three of my kids from last year, the three who gave me the most grief, they shout hello and give me hugs every single time I pass them on the yard. Like, several times a day. Without fail. It totally gets annoying, but there is no way I'm going to stop them because I love knowing that I played a part in their lives. I hope they know, Vanessa included, what an important part they play in my life.