Courtney Cox's Asshole

Jill Soloway wrote this awesome short story called, "Courtney Cox's Asshole." Yeah, it's that good. I was halfway through reading it before I realized that I knew her. Soloway, not Courtney Cox. She was a parent at a school I used to work at. The Asshole Story is fantastic.

I can’t cum anymore. I can’t even spell it. Is it cum or come? I know it’s cum for guys, because stuff comes out, but nothing comes out of me. I also can’t stand my pink nail polish. It’s called Baby. I got it at the Vietnamese place, Crazy Lady Nails, but it’s fuckin’ frosty and I hate fuckin’ frosty. I also hate when I get the ugly old lady manicurist. It’s bad enough to pay someone to work their hands through the vile parts of your feet. At least, if she’s young, you can pretend she’s your Asian bi-curious girlfriend.