it's the most wonderful time . . .

. . . of the year! Report Cards! Here is a collection of brutally honest report card comments that unfortunately, we are not allowed to submit: (number twenty two is my favorite.)

1. Perfect attendance (darn it!)
   
2. The lights are on. but nobody's home.
   
3. 51 cards short of a full deck.
   
4. Despite absolutely no effort, your child is promoted to the next grade due to school board policy.
   
5. I was so happy to meet with you on conference day. I think I have found the root of junior's problems.
   
6. Doesn't deserve her "F" in behavior, but that is as low as I am allowed to go.
   
7. Extremely creative when it comes to spelling.
   
8. Your child brings joy to the class when absent.
   
9. Work ethic challenged.
   
10. Responds to most teacher statements with an irritating smirk.
11. Fails to get involved in any way with her own educational goals.
    
12. Can be extremely helpful and dependable (but chooses not to)
    
13. Your child is trying; extremely trying.
    
14. Learns new vocabulary quickly; (has a firm grasp of every known obscenity.)
    
15. I wish you would stop doing your child's homework as this grade reflects your effort, not his (and you're not doing all that well).
    
16. Can't shut up!
    
17. Extremely neat; leaves no marks on papers except, perhaps, a name.
18. Has learned to listen more carefully to directions; following them is another matter.
    
19. Inconsistent effort; varies between little and none.
    
20. At least I only have to put up with him for 45 minutes a day- he comes home to you at night HA HA!
    
21. Kant spel tu gud.
    
22. Would be better reader if he could move his finger faster.
    
23. Student is unfamiliar with the concept of honesty.
    
24. Ritalin dosage needs to be increased.