how to break up

Inspired by Benja, who is already in a rebound. I told him I'm not so great at boy problems but I am good at getting over breakups, so here are some pearls of wisdom:

• There is nothing better than a new guy to get over an old guy. Nothing. It can be ten months and you'll still be pining but ten minutes into your new crush and you'll forget you ever cared about whatshisface.
• Remove all evidence from your house. Take down pictures, put away notes, stop playing those CDs. I know you kind of want to torture yourself, but it's better to just make it disappear. In place of all the old junk, put new junk. Frame pictures of friends, sharks, things that make you laugh. You can keep your nostalgia in a box, but keep it out of sight.
• Don't go places where you think he might be. Your younger friends will tell you that you shouldn't let him affect your life, but your older and wiser friends will tell you that you shouldn't twist the knife in your own back. Stay away. Find a new bar.
• Enlist one friend to keep up on the dirt and disclose any and all information about the former guy. You don't need more than one. Shut up about him with everyone else. They'll think you're over it and treat you like you're over it, which is what you need. They'll start introducing you to new people, talk about happy things, be an escape. Pretty soon it won't be an act.
  
• Remember that every time you have a break up, it gets easier to get over it.