texts number five

• You knew he would! What an exciting sexy time for you both.

• What. the. f. is a slanket? a slinky blanket?

• Hows it by you? Too many israelis by us.

• Was he cute? Was he Jewish? Last night I had a dream about kichel.

• Well right now I'm listening to la di da di we like to party by slick rick and doug e fresh from 1985. But after that I'm free!

• I thought silver fox came in shirtless.

• Saw the ramachandrin box. In AZ. The couple next door is having rough boring sex. How are you?

• Happy Hannukah!
• Thanks! I'm at a church about to sing more x mas songs. Ironical.
• Ironikkah.

• After going to several stores and calling twenty of them, guess where i finally found citric acid...glatt mart.

• Hang on I'm in the middle. I had to take a shower first, wash the dog off.
• That sounds like slang for cleaning your private area.

• Little indecent incident with the main... Thought you would laugh.

• Let me revisit my journal entry for that date to learn why

• Just made some pasta with ketchup and parmesan cheese. Told my girlfriend that if one bowl of food were to ever sum up my childhood it'd be that. She took one look at it and said 'don't eat that next to me.'

• Woah. Just discovered sephorah. Holy shit.

• The other thing that was supposed to change the world but didn't was olestra. Instead it caused anal leakage.

• I just got a phone call to "Rent a Man."

• Stewie got stuck with a ball gag on Family Guy this week. Thought of you.

• Having a congressional race on my birthday really made my day.

• Did you see that they listed me as School Programs chair on the yellow newsletter? Who knew. I didn't.

• Of course I didn't respond b/c I am doing really important things like watching youtube.