"Skeptics say the switch to ADHDTV will likely be delayed in favor of other projects or even completely forgotten by next week. However, the FDA is fast-tracking approval of the new drug Entertainalin, developed in anticipation of the modified programming. In clinical trials, the drug has been effective in helping viewers concentrate not only on the new TV format, but also on their immediate surroundings, the couch fabric, a dog passing by the window, and pieces of lint floating in the air."from here.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
wanna ride bikes?
Monday, November 28, 2005
thanksgiving quotes
"I know all about STDs. Don't mess with me."
"Where's Abbey?"
"At the Laundromat."
"Still?"
"She probably picked up a guy."
"I think I want to have a dairy wedding."
"Well, now I have to sit at home NOT wearing my most fabulous new sleeveless shirt to Babylon."
"That's the same stunning ensemble you wore yesterday."
"Have you written your internet boyfriend?"
"No."
"No?!! Why not?!"
"I've been busy."
"I guess your real life has gotten in the way of your fake life."
"Where's Abbey?"
"At the Laundromat."
"Still?"
"She probably picked up a guy."
"I think I want to have a dairy wedding."
"Well, now I have to sit at home NOT wearing my most fabulous new sleeveless shirt to Babylon."
"That's the same stunning ensemble you wore yesterday."
"Have you written your internet boyfriend?"
"No."
"No?!! Why not?!"
"I've been busy."
"I guess your real life has gotten in the way of your fake life."
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Los Angeles
She lives by the sea, in the south, in the west,
climbing up from the ocean,
and into the desert,
over miles and miles of space,
she melts into her neighbors.
Her skin is a rough patchwork of cement and asphalt,
stretched taught in the center and sprawled loosely around the sides,
swimming pools of blue eyes,
freckles of blacktop,
an unhealthy pallor of black and grey.
Her hair is a tangled mass of freeways and interchanges,
swerving and curling and interlacing,
connecting cities to cities,
people to people,
cars to more freeways.
She speaks many tongues, hears many voices,
rolling her Rs, lilting her voice,
hissssing and roarrrring,
asking and calling,
a sing-song of sounds.
And who are her lovers? Her faithful beaus?
They are brown, and white, and yellow, and black,
they are all colors of the earth,
they reach up to her shoulders and crawl down to her feet,
they worship her on movie screens and magazines.
She is the city of angels,
born of a small pueblo,
raised by the sun,
fed by eager immigrants,
Lalaland, el norte,
creator of dreams.
climbing up from the ocean,
and into the desert,
over miles and miles of space,
she melts into her neighbors.
Her skin is a rough patchwork of cement and asphalt,
stretched taught in the center and sprawled loosely around the sides,
swimming pools of blue eyes,
freckles of blacktop,
an unhealthy pallor of black and grey.
Her hair is a tangled mass of freeways and interchanges,
swerving and curling and interlacing,
connecting cities to cities,
people to people,
cars to more freeways.
She speaks many tongues, hears many voices,
rolling her Rs, lilting her voice,
hissssing and roarrrring,
asking and calling,
a sing-song of sounds.
And who are her lovers? Her faithful beaus?
They are brown, and white, and yellow, and black,
they are all colors of the earth,
they reach up to her shoulders and crawl down to her feet,
they worship her on movie screens and magazines.
She is the city of angels,
born of a small pueblo,
raised by the sun,
fed by eager immigrants,
Lalaland, el norte,
creator of dreams.
wait till they see my closet!
Compliment of the week:
"Your handwriting looks like a serial killer's."
"Your handwriting looks like a serial killer's."
Sunday, November 20, 2005
the lapdance
"I'm ready for my lapdance now."
"Right here?"
"Right here."
"In the middle of the bar?"
"No, come over to the wall and sit."
"I'm not really sure how to do a lapdance."
"Well first you sort of twist your body around from side to side."
"Like this?"
"Slower...yeah."
"Ok, now what?"
"Now you move forward and back in a kind of tease."
"Ha! Now what?"
"Now it's up to the individual lapdancer what they want to do next."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it's up to you now. You can do anything you want."
"Anything?"
"Anything."
"Can I do this?"
...And then they kiss.
"Right here?"
"Right here."
"In the middle of the bar?"
"No, come over to the wall and sit."
"I'm not really sure how to do a lapdance."
"Well first you sort of twist your body around from side to side."
"Like this?"
"Slower...yeah."
"Ok, now what?"
"Now you move forward and back in a kind of tease."
"Ha! Now what?"
"Now it's up to the individual lapdancer what they want to do next."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it's up to you now. You can do anything you want."
"Anything?"
"Anything."
"Can I do this?"
...And then they kiss.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
now you see it...
THIS is the coolest shit ever, and is guarenteed to take your mind off studying for at least three minutes.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Harry Potter Ramirez
shout out to social justice and educational reforms...
- - - -
Harry Potter and the Obvious Shortcomings of the No Child Left Behind Act
Harry Potter and the Back-Alley Abortion
Harry Potter and Some Seriously Bad Acid
Harry Potter and the TB Pandemic
Harry Potter and the Impending Race War
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