drip...drip...drip...

Today I led a fantastic cave discovery lesson. We turned the lights off and the "cave sound effects" up. Kids had flashlights which they used to "find" pictures of artifacts taped onto the walls. For each artifact, they had to determine what it was and why the artists made/painted it. (The kids had some awesome hypothesis, my favorite being that the Lascaux hand prints were made as a memorial to a loved one.) Then they read their textbooks (by flashlight) to see what social scientists think about those artifacts.

It is so nice to finally be done with the training and dive into the curriculum. Learning is fun. Talking about learning is not fun.

a weekend so productive

This week I managed to see all three of my favorite people in Los Angeles who are perpetually unavailable. I slept over at Glenda's on Friday, the only way I was going to tail it out to Woodland Hills. We floated around on the pool (neither of us got farther than the floaties), watched some horribly bad TV (Melrose Place the new series), ate dinner and dessert, and looked at my Ozzie pictures. Then on Saturday, I hung out with Wade in the jacuzzi and took a nap on his bed while he spreadsheeted, then he and I and Zach went to Inglorious Basterds. Which was awesome. This morning Nicole came over and we ate some fruit and made pancakes and talked about her wedding in January.

In addition to all that, I bought seven flashlights at the ninety nine cent store and got my hair trimmed. When have I last had a weekend so productive.

and another thing

I just decided that I'm going to embark on my own personal NaPoBlo or whatever it is called, and write something every single day for the next while. I'd like to do it for a year but that just seems way too ambitious.

Edit: Each post will have to be different.

three more

Joan Armatrading - Love and Affection


West Indian Girl - Sofia


Feist - Honey Honey

three amazing songs I found on the teevee

Goldfrapp - You Never Know



I Monster - Heaven



Pink (Featuring Indigo Girls) - Dear Mr. President

first day of school guilt

Today was the first day of school, FREAK OUT, very stressful and not for the normal reasons. My new room is very tiny, and while I'm happy to be sharing a closet with a neater teacher (who let me organize the whole thing), there is no room for a desk! There is no room for a single extra body! There is no room for me to be in there during my preps, or for her to be there during her preps! It is so cramped that there is no way to sneak in unnoticed to grab your purse.

Also I've had this nagging feeling for a week that I did an awful thing by not picking a certain student to be in my advisory again. She is my favorite kid in the whole school, very mature and insightful and kind of reminds me of me. She is a true leader and though it would not be legal or socially just, (and thus I would never do it), I would totally trust her to lead the class in my absence. That's saying a lot for a twelve year old, but we just really clicked.

When we made new advisory groups last week, I was determined to have her in mine, but when we got to her name, I didn't say anything. I don't know why. Maybe in the moment I was feeling overly selfish and didn't want to seem too grabby in front of the other teachers. As soon as the day was over I was already regretting my omission, and I haven't stopped thinking about it. I saw her this morning and she asked me in a wounded tone why she wasn't with me again. GUILT.

I tried to rationalize that the move is better for her because I might treat her with undue favoritism, or give her too much control for her own good. Placing her with another teacher will let her grow independently. I also convinced myself for a quick second that my advisory group will be younger feeling without her, but I'm not really sure that that is even an advantage.

This afternoon I had a brief epiphany wherein I remembered that THIS IS JUST A JOB and she is not my child that I'm having to give up for adoption. Like any other student, she grows up and moves on, and in her place I have a whole new set of potential favorites.

But like I said, that moment was brief. I feel like I made this huge mistake that I'm going to regret for the rest of the year. I wouldn't feel this way at all if she had been randomly assigned to another teacher, but the fact that I had a choice and I PASSED really kills me.

dream?

Last night I dreamt that I was dating a tyrannosaurus rex. It was problematic because he kept losing his temper and then would want to eat me. I had to calm him down. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking omigod, that was weirdly hilarious, my boyfriend was A DINOSAUR.

Today I was talking about the dream with my old roommate Abbey, and we decided that a stegosaurus is more my type. It was the truest conversation I've had in months.