texts that make me smile

He's going to teach me how to make chicken shnitzel. Literally.
Nice! I would have thought it was a euphemism. You dirty slut!

F nick! Be a little crazy... Does he feed u junk food over the computer?

This is the second time we've pulled up to our house and luke has asked if you're at the house...and says he wants u.

Luke offered me a kiss in exchange for you! He's on a big Deens kick! Seriously! He is kinda obsessed and it's so cute because he keeps bringing u up out of the blue...like when I ask for a kiss.

Fab. Let's watch tv and eat junk food.
Dan says that's an invitation to bone.

In light of not making out, I really do like spending time with you.
Yeah me too. Sweet dreams.

I got 3 shots of novacaine and am drooling like a stroke victim. Parking was great.

RIDICULOUS. Benja has over $7000 worth of shoes. I carried them while rolling my eyes.
You leave them at the business center?

I love that domino just sent a card that says I will will now be receiving glamour and it is addressed to haley bojangles shmorgan & says dear haley shmorgan...

Maybe the underwear thing was a test, and i failed.
For the record, I think HE failed that test.
Boxer briefs tonight thank god.

Hello hope you are feeling better anyone who doesn't want to spend 24/7 with you is a shmuck you can tell him your doda said so Have a great week N

Sigh. I'm having a small boobs day.

Just got a cool new sweatshirt from the lost and found. Score!

Your long hair won't help you, pretty boy Paris! this iliad is hilarious.

Rebecca and I were doing kiegels while waiting. Those are silent.
Those will pay off when you're older.
It pays off NOW. HA HA SEX JOKE.
Stop it, you're turning me on. LOL
Ironic dirty jokes in church. Klassy.
Jesus is very forgiving and has a great sense of humor
It's too bad we can't be back up phone buddies anymore. It's like I may as well delete you from my phone.

No no, I was texting Deens is cool

Guitar lady now has antlers and is shooting a laser out of her guitar.

Hope the earthquake didn't drop your marriage license on your head.

I just fell off of my poposan chair holding a bowl of cereal. Hilarious!

Actually, we should go first to the orthodox candy store. THEN jacuzzi.

Omigod, was so flustered w work stuff, we forgot to talk about poop! Next time.